Today

Today, we kinda got stuck on a single subject with Charlie. It was a very simple assignment. Write out the 50 states. He could copy them from the map or from the list, but instead he played and fidgeted the entire time and it took him over three hours. GAAAH! We will continue working on this.

.

I cleaned both bathrooms today. They were nasty from all of us. So I will be keeping up on them daily. Especially since my children (Hannah mostly) turns the water on and leaves it on with it having a slow drain. One of them also blocked up the toilet with something.

.

We picked up an awning today for Pioneer Days so we can give D back hers. I need to call her to see if she wants us to bring it to her house or meet her at Pioneer Days with it. I'll leave it up to her and whatever is most convenient for her.

.

Thursday, we get to do fun things like pay bills. I know tomorrow morning, we have a graveside service to attend. I need to pick up a white dress from home to wear.

.

Not much else going on here. Still waiting on the insurance company so the contractors can get back to work.

Swine Flu Vax and other stuff

A question was asked about the swine flu vaccine. While certainly not the first one, I know it won't be the last. Since I am still on the "refugee" status and living with my SIL, I don't have all the stuff easily accessible to me like I do at home to back up my view.

We don't vaccinate like most people. We do a very selective delay schedule. We vaccinate against tetanus around the age of 6 or 7. We have dealt with tetanus with one of our goats so we feel as though this is an important one for our family. Otherwise, we wouldn't bother with it. We will vaccinate Charlie against mumps as a teen-ager if he does not get it before then. Same thing with the girls and German measles.

.

We won't vaccinate against hpv or hepB or any others where the spread is by blood and body fluids. They are not in a high-risk category (medical professionals, IV drug users, or sexually active) so they don't need it.

.

The swine flu vaccine is (imo) being rushed through without really testing it. I remember reading something somewhere about how over 2000 people have died from the vaccine when just over 500 have died from the swine flu. (Keep in mind that the people who have died from the "regular" flu is in the tens of thousands.) The only way to know the difference between the swine flu and the regular flu is through testing. (Nasal swab.) Symptomatically, they are pretty much the same. While the flu is no fun for anyone (either the person who has it or the family who has to live with the person) getting a vaccine out of fear is not the answer. By the same token, not vaccinating out of fear is also not the answer.

.

My advice: Do your research and decide for yourself. Is your family otherwise healthy? Does anyone in your family have asthma or some other illness with a compromised respiratory system? What are the risks associated with the flu? What are the risks associated with the vaccine? What ingredients are in the vaccine?

.

Every decision has a consequence. Is the consequence acceptable to you? (Keeping in mind that vaccines are not 100% and you can still get the swine flu.)

.

A decision based on research, education, and prayer will be the best decision which ever way you and your family decide.

.

In other news, Hoppes Homestead will be at Pioneer Days on Saturday. We will also be set up on the Covered Bridge path the following week-end. Normally, we would be split, and for Covered Bridge we will be, but I have other plans for Saturday. I have to be in Sycamore. I am working on a new display board and little Christmas signs for our table for October to (hopefully) entice people to buy. Or at least keep us in mind for Christmas shopping.

Still Here

I just lost a whole post, so I will just say that we are still alive, living with my SIL, and am doing as well as can be expected. I am frustrated with computers, technology, and my life being out of order.

I am thankful for my SIL and for her computer since the computer that I have that was supposed to have been properly fixed still does not take a charge since the cord still does not fit into the back properly. It is very lose and I am ready to smash the thing.

Yes, I am irritated.

Huh? I can't hear you!

I am being a good mom and trying to teach my children the states.  The best way I have found to do that is with the song Nifty Fifty.  I love the song and find it to be a very effective teaching tool.  I go to pull it up on Youtube only to discover that my sound doesn't work.  I checked all the setting and volume on the computer, within the song itself, etc.  Then it hit me.  I have not heard any beeps, bleeps, dings, or bells since I got the laptop back from the shop.  The sound worked when it went in.  Now, it doesn't work.  And, the original problem with the power cord still exists.

I took the children to piano lessons today and while Bethany was in, I took Charlie to The Coffee Cup and let him get any snack he wanted.  He chose a chocolate milk shake.  The people there were sweet.  I had made mention that I will be leaving to take him to piano and coming back with my other child who was at piano.  When the time came for me to go, they told me to go ahead and they will just wait on the check.  I come back with Bethany and they ask "Where's the little boy?"  Apparently, they forgot about the part where I was leaving him for his lesson.  

I was really impressed with the waitresses there.  I felt really uncomfortable just leaving without paying even though I was coming right back.  I went to leave my cell phone there as "collateral" but they told me to take it.  When I came back, the table was undisturbed.  My coffee cup and water were still there.  The only things gone were the things that Charlie had gotten.

Anyway, Bethany's turn to choose came and they offered her a menu and since she is still learning to read, I just brought her over to the dessert display and let her choose.  She chose a turtle cheesecake.  (I chose plain.)  It was nice just sitting and talking with them individually.  I was able to tap them to see how they are.  They are ok still with living here.  Bethany wants to go home, but there is a catch as to how we are to go home.  We have to bring the donkeys here and ride them home.  Uh, I don't think so.

Miss L made a deal with Bethany.  She lets her hair grow and she can have a large pick and white bow for her hair.  

Charlie wanted to bring home a piano book that he played out of today.  (I forgot their books in the truck.)  He goes to take it with him with Miss L's full blessing only to be reminded that we don't have a piano here.  It's at home.  He got a bit upset.  It's hard.  But as I said, they are still doing ok.

Autumnal Equinox

Having some friends and readers, I wish them a Happy Autumnal Equinox.  For the rest of my readers and my family, Happy Fall Y'all!  Either way, today is the first day of fall.  The day when the hours of light and darkness is equal in hours and minutes.  It is the mark on the calendar when we get ready to pull out the rakes, inspect the snow blowers (in those areas that need it) and put cooking spray on the shopping list for the snow shovels in preparation for the upcoming winter.

For us, it means we continue to sit and wait until the insurance company comes through and work can continue on our home.  The stress got too much for me and I did finally go to the doctor.  I got put on sertraline which will take a couple of weeks to take effect.  It is a short term thing to get me through this.  The doctor doesn't see me on it for more than a few months.  I feel like I have let myself down and God down.  That I am having to rely on a drug to get me through a tough time when I don't suffer from a chemical imbalance or head trauma or chronic depression or whatever.

I know God is with me and will (and is) seeing me through this.  But it is still hard.  But I also know that it would be a lot harder without Him by my side.  Anyway, to discuss the rest of the week.

The children have piano tomorrow.  Charlie read a story out of Great Myths and Legends today about a Blackfoot tribe.  It took him having to reread it several times for him to be able to answer our questions.

We also played a memory game, but instead of matching cards, they were synonyms.  Bethany joined it even though she didn't know what a lot of the words meant.  So each word was explained.

Charlie is not doing well at math again.  It is getting frustrating.  I know we struggle off an on and right now, the struggle is on.  I get annoyed with him when he plays dumb.  I know he knows this stuff, but he is acting like he doesn't.  Gaaaaah!

I am going to work with him 1:1 tomorrow a lot more closely.  Granted, this will be after I go to Rural King to pick up feed (yeah, we're doing RK feed right now which I don't like) then go to the house and milk and feed the animals.  I go in the morning and Husband goes at night.

We will get through this, we will get through this, we will get through this.  

Oh, and I got my laptop back and it still won't charge properly.  I got a lemon.

Going to see the doctor

I am planning on making an appointment with the doctor very soon. I called and am just waiting to hear back. My plate is too full. I am having a hard time holding it together and am pretty much seconds from collapsing into a heaping pile of blubbering insanity.

The children are doing well. They have regressed a bit emotionally, but we are trying to keep them on track with school work and stuff that would otherwise be expected of them.

My SIL (whom we are staying with) is being very accommodating. But I know after a while, that will wear thin. It is only natural. As wonderful and loving as she is, she is going to want some peace and quiet back in her life soon.

We are taking turns going out to the farm twice a day. I go in the morning and Husband goes in the evening. I go out there this morning and Flora has her head caught in the fence. Some chickens were caught in the garage all night so the garage smells wonderful. I left it open about a foot so they can get in and out.

I found a dead hen with a couple of eggs. Apparently, a bucket fell over on her and she couldn't get it off herself. As a result, no food and no water. Not being at home, I have no idea how long she was there and how long she suffered until she died. How long was Flora caught in the fence? Since she was still standing strong, it was not long. But we have come home after being gone for a couple of hours and saw her caught and tired from fighting and her hind legs not holding her up anymore. And that was only after a couple of hours! What if she gets caught all night long? Or all day? We won't know about it until we get there.

I hate this. I am seconds away from becoming a heaping mass of blubbering incoherence.

Blog Avoidance

I have been avoiding blogging the past couple of says because quite frankly it is all depressing.  We have had to leave our home due to black mold.  And the black mold would never have been an issue if the insurance company had not dragged their feet in the beginning and done their job to begin with.  I am angry and worried and stressed and having chest pains due to the anxiety.

We went to a hotel only to find out that the insurance company deducts the hotel from the mold allotment which is only $5000.  The contractor had seen well over $6000 worth of mold damage and he has bot investigated thoroughly yet.  Along with having the hotel being deducted, an air quality test needs to be done before and after which will run close to $1000 if I am understanding that correctly.  

As I said, I am fed up.   We are seeing a lawyer tomorrow to see what a lawyer would have to say and then going to our agent and laying it all out.

We are not in good hands with Allstate.  That is for sure.

Oh, and when we were told about the $5000 limit for mold, the response?  "Be thankful that you even have mold coverage.  Some insurance companies don't even have it."

It didn't seem to bother him any that we would not have a mold problem to begin with if Allstate had done their job.

Friday Update

ELECTRICITY: Having the construction workers using out electricity has the meter whipping around. Yikes. Let's see how bad it really is. 
Meter reading: 80135 
Usage: 701kwh (14 day period.) 
Percentage: No clue since I am on my husband's computer. (Again.) 
. 
IDC: I have one batch of rabbit stew in the canner finishing up and another batch (2 quarts soup and 5 quarts broth) waiting to go in. Otherwise, there hasn't been much happening here other than trying to get through each day and get our lives back on track. 
. 
GARBAGE: We went to the scrap yard and took in a bunch of metal. We got a few bucks for it, so it was more than worth it. 
. 
GASOLINE: My MPG is up to 19. I went to Danville for a shower then drove to Bloomingdale to pick up a friend for a LLL meeting. I filled up the tank before coming home from Rockville after dropping her off. 
. 
MONEY: This is something we are in dire need of. Where it is going to come from and we need it now. A lot more damage, including black mold, has been discovered which means when they go to work in that area we need to get out. While the insurance company might reimburse, the initial cost would be out of pocket. Bottom line is we can not live in this house when it comes time to do mold removal or even when the open up the walls. This is not just our bedroom, but other areas as well. More broken trusses have been discovered as well. And they are right above the balcony where our bed currently is. Along with more black mold. I am feeling completely and totally beaten down and defeated right now. I told Husband that I should never have quit my job and had mentioned going out and getting another. He said he would go out and sell soaps on a street corner before I did that again. 
. 
HOMESTEAD: On the first, Big Brown and Robin will go to Spendal's. The rabbits are stew. Star is in quarantine. 
. 
HOMESCHOOL: Charlie is struggling with staying focused. He is not doing well at all with either his math or his writing. He seems to have forgotten how to do the most basic of stuff. I know our life is in turmoil, but regardless, we still need to do our work. 
. 
GOALS: 
1. Don't go insane 
2. Stay focused 
3. Remember to be thankful 
4. Look at all of this as a blessing 

Pictures of Rabbit Slaughter

My son decided to draw how he saw the slaughter of the last rabbit.  I had no idea he was planing on drawing a picture, but draw he did.  When he handed me the picture he drew, he was laughing.  Should I be disturbed or amused?  You decide.

Here is the picture in full:

Here are some up close details of the drawing:

I drowned the rabbit to kill it:

Blood Splatter:

The rabbit laying out dead on the table waiting to be skinned, gutted, etc:

The title of the picture:

Kill the rabbit, Kill the rabbit....

Today, I butchered one of the rabbits.  The other will be butchered later.  We are having one for dinner and the other I will make into a stew to can.  The hide came off easy enough and I was able to keep it all in one piece.  It went a lot easier than I thought it would especially since it was my first.  The amusing part was I was doing it outside with all these construction crew around.  Here's this "helpless" female in a long skirt  cutting off the head of a rabbit I just grabbed from his cage and drowned.  

The more amusing part was dissecting the internal organs and going over stomach content, intestines, lungs, liver, heart, kidneys, testicles, etc with Bethany and Hannah.  (Husband and Charlie were doing work at the church.)  

The other amusing thing was one of the guys had to use the bathroom and he asked about toilet paper.  I handed him cloth.  I wonder if the guys will bring their own tomorrow?

I did get some accomplished today.  I made cinnamon balls for breakfast, a loaf of bread that the family devoured, scrubbed the kitchen and dining room floor on my hands and knees, butchered a rabbit, helped the girls with math, and right now I have dinner in the oven.

Hannah has her circles down and now we are working on squares.  Bethany is still grasping 2+4=.  But, she is starting to understand.  She gets it some times and other times, she doesn't.  Baby steps.  

After church tonight, I will be taking care of more soaps.  Hopefully, I will get it all done.

Wonderful News!

The hole in Hannah's heart is healed!  While the bluing still requires explanation, the hole is not the source and any fears/concerns I had about the possibility of open heart surgery has been put to rest.  Hannah does have her three year check-up in December and at that point, I will ask about allergies and asthma.  I know that many doctors try to avoid the diagnosis of asthma at such a young age and that allergy testing under the age of four is often filled with false positives.  But, her heart is ok and for that I am very thankful.

Construction on the house started today while we were gone and the construction company has to pull an "I told you so" with the insurance company so they are playing telephone tag.  Meanwhile, they will start on the opposite side of the house and hopefully by the time they get to the bedroom, things will be settled and that work can get done.

I have dough rising for breakfast and bread for tomorrow.  I am going to make cinnamon balls and a few loaves of bread.  As I was kneading the dough tonight, Husband came up to me and said "Good to have you home."

Tomorrow, Husband is going to be working at the church.  I am going to make sure I can get to the soaps in the box before he goes so I can get that stuff poured and maybe get some orders mailed out.  I also have some bars that need wrapping. 

DONE!

With the exception of going over all of it with chicken wire, the fencing is DONE!  YAY!  (Thank you, my love.)  Next up is to finish the barn.  We made a run to the scrap yard and dumped a lot of scrap metal.  So that is also finally out of the yard.  It is frustrating how slow going it is sometimes, but in order for anything to get done and still have a functioning husband, it is work ten minutes and take a break for an hour.  Makes for very long drawn out projects.

The rabbits will be set aside tomorrow for butchering and cleaning on Wednesday.  It looks like Brightspot might have pinkeye.  We need to get a closer look.  The flies have been horrible and that is how this is spread.  We have been doing what we can to reduce the population, but have been having no luck.  If anyone has any ideas, let me know.

The contractors never showed today.  They are a day behind so they will (hopefully) show up tomorrow and get started.  Granted, we will be at St. Vincent with Hannah.  But, that's ok.  

I got a bunch of cleaning done inside today and also got the forms filled out for tomorrow.  I haven't even made it to St. Vincent yet and already I am impressed.  The person who does the intake and fills out the forms for the insurance companies called me today to make sure she had all the information correct and to get Hannah's SS#.  While no referrals are needed with the exception of durable medical equipment and drug/alcohol/mental health treatment, she wanted to make sure there would be no problems with the insurance company.  (We do have a referral, but that doesn't always go through either.)

She made sure we were aware of the things we would need and let me know that if I had any questions to give her a call.  She volunteered her name.  I didn't have to ask.  At first, I thought this was maybe the receptionist, but the receptionist for the doctor we are seeing called later to remind us about tomorrow's appointment.  So, yes, I am impressed.  We will see how tomorrow's appointment goes.

Soaps are going to be poured after dinner.  The children are going to get baths and early bed times tonight since we will be getting up early tomorrow.  Once they are in bed, I will start pouring and putting ingredient labels on.  The front labels will go on later.  

Time to check on dinner and get the table set.

I am glad to be home with my family.  Thank you, God for being patient with me as You pointed me back home where I belong.

So Much For Sunday Naps!

Bethany is very lucky that she is alive.  I am ready to skin her alive!  She got the scissors and went outside and cut her hair!  She did it herself this time.  There is no blaming Charlie.  She actually came inside and asked George if he was going to be going outside.  Talk about premeditated!  This can not be fixed.  This will be a year of hats and bonnets.  I am livid!  I called up D and jokingly told her I want to go back to work.  She laughed at me.

I told my pastor that I quit my job.  He gave me a thumbs up.  Apparently, he was not too pleased with me working either.  Apparently, a lot of people were not happy with me working and how I was running myself into the ground at an accelerated rate.

Tomorrow, the fencing is going to be finished and food is going to be withheld from the rabbits so they can be butchered on Tuesday when we get back from Indy.  I am also going to walk the backyard and start visualizing the garden for next year.  Oh, and harvest the potatoes.  Construction is going to start tomorrow as well.  (It better.)  This week is going to be a week of thinning the flock of roosters, keeping an eye on the hens and take care of any not laying, and basically building our meat supply for the freezer.  

I am slowly getting the house back in order and will be going through the children's clothes and pull out the fall/winter stuff.  I will probably start on the clothes on Wednesday.

Tuesday, Hannah sees the pediatric cardiologist.  I was talking with a homeschool mom who is not only a cardiac patient herself but before becoming a SAHM, she was a nurse and specialized in cardiac patients.  She sees a lot of the same things I see in watching Hannah and had pointed out some of the more disturbing things.  One thing I am going to demand is a repeat on the tests that have been done and make a list of questions that I already have in my head.  

I am trying not to worry.  I know she will be ok.  But how do I not worry?

Better

A lot of things are better.  I am feeling better.  My husband is feeling better.  My children seem happier.  When I asked them if they wanted me working or wanted me home, they cheerfully said "Home."  While their choice would have had very little bearing on my decision, it is nice to know how they feel about things and that they prefer me home rather than gone.  

Guess who else is better?  Flora.  We stopped the abx last Saturday in anticipation of putting her down on Monday.  Apparently, she was reacting to the abx.  While she certainly needed them, she is also allergic to them.  We didn't give any to her on Saturday and on Sunday, she started looking a little better.  She still looked horrid, but better.  Monday, she looked better still.  So, we decided to see what no more abx would do.  Today, she can see.  And, she is hungry.  She is eating voraciously and we've been tying her outside so she could have fresh air and sunshine and natural browse while still keeping her separated.  While we will never breed her again, it is good to see her recovering.

On the first, Robin and Big Brown will be going to Spendal's.  It is time to fill the freezer.  We will be taking care of roosters this week as well and slowly giving away the rest of the pork.  Some will be going to SIL's and some to other people.  

Contractors will start actual work (not just dropping tools off) this next week as well.

I like being home again.  This is where I belong.  It will be years before I start working again,  My family is still too young.  My heart is still at home.  This is where I am needed, wanted, and where God wants me to be.

Eight Years Later

There are still those who live who are seriously ill from the attacks that hit our country eight years ago.  Attacks that people seem to have forgotten.  Lives lost (people murdered) who are no longer thought about.  

I looked around for something or someplace locally that would do something to remember this day.  But I have found nothing.  No one is doing anything.  Sadly, I am not all that surprised.  I am deeply saddened that in such a short period of time, this day is just another day in the history books with a brief "Wear red, white, and blue."  The TV stations are playing tapes of that day, but that's about it.  

As we remember (or struggle to remember) the horrors of that day and the attack that hit our country, let us also remember there is still another war going on to help those who did not die that day, but are dying as a result of that day.  Some call it "The Secret List."

It's Official

I went in and spoke with B and told her I quit.  We went into the playroom and talked.  She tried to make concessions about reduced hours and the switch to nights and it wasn't even about that.  It is about respect and the lack there of.  I saw very little and told B that when I started, I had respect for S.  That got lost.  I know I created a huge bulls-eye on my back when I spoke with D, the owner, about S's lack of management skills and that came back to bite me.  But as we all know, I am not one to remain quiet when I see a wrong.

Anyway, I told B that I was quitting and I almost wavered.  But, Husband was there and kept me quit.  I did enjoy the job and the customer interaction.  I just did not enjoy the other garbage that went along with it.  My health was getting affected and so what Husband's.  So, it is over.

I made a decision

I had a few conversations tonight which made me see what I knew was there, but was refusing to see.  

D had said that "If it ain't working for you, you need to get rid of it."

B had told me about her cardiac issues and hers started out similar to mine.  Until stress and exhaustion triggered something and she nearly died.  My tachycardia has been bad.  I am walking around McDonald's clutching my chest because of my heart racing and as a result, unable to function very well.  Stress, exhaustion, and dehydration make it worse.  And all three happen there.  I am not allowed to have even a small cup of water with me out of sight and I can't just get a drink when I want.  When I do drink, inevitably, I have to go to the bathroom.  And I can't just run to the bathroom when I want.  As a result, my kidneys start hurting because of the backed-up urine which creates more stress which makes the tachycardia worse which dehydrates me more which makes it worse which makes me need more water....

Can you guess where I was heading?

I asked Husband how he would feel if I quit.  He said "relieved."

Talked with S

I went to McDonald's and spoke with S.  Seeing my husband have a major seizure (two back to back) pretty much cinched my decision to go back to nights.

S was not happy to see me.  I still feel like crud.  I have both girls with me and get them nugget happy meals.  (I didn't get myself anything since my stomach has been upset and I feel seconds away from vomiting.)

Anyway, after waiting for her to grace me with her presence, she does finally come in and I shoo the girls to the play place so I can talk with her.  She doesn't even bother to sit down and says "I have less than a minute."  (And she is supposedly approachable?)

"Mornings is not working for my family.  I need to go back to nights."

"Well, days is where we need people."

"Days is not working for my family.  My husband just had a major seizure due to exhaustion.  I need to go back to nights."

"Did you talk to B about this?"

"Not yet.  I decided to talk to you first before approaching B with my hours and changing them again."

"Well, we just had a bunch of people go to nights since school started.  I don't know what hours there will be if any available to you."  (Translation.  My hours are going to be severely cut as retaliation for going back to nights.  This has happened with people before.)

After that (the same person who just got done saying she had no time to talk to me) she goes over to where a couple of contractors are talking with the owner and she is just standing there with a smile on her face as they are bantering back and forth about speed traps and highways.  I can see how pressured you were to get back to work.

Tired, Stressed, Unsure

I am working myself to exhaustion.  I ended up calling in sick last night at 9:15 because I couldn't breathe, was running a low-grade fever, and couldn't sleep and could barely function.  I slept last night and slept in until the phone rang at 6:50 this morning and Husband answered the phone.  It was work trying to find out where I was because I didn't show up at 4:00 am.  Apparently, M didn't pass on the message.

This morning, I am feeling better and Husband looked at me and reminded me that I have landed myself in the hospital in the past for exhaustion and it will happen again if I don't do something.  I am going to try to get back to nights.  This is insane.

Remember when I made my list about my priorities?  Ok, so maybe I didn't.  I thought I did.  I know I spoke with people about it, but I can't find it here.  Anyway, it went like this:

1. God
2. Husband
3. Children (Husband and children are highly interchangeable based on what is happening.)
4. Home
5. Farm
6. Business
7. La Leche League
8. McDonald's

When I had first shared this with Husband, he had made mention that I did not list myself.  I made the comment of "Well, that's a given."  Apparently, it isn't.  So, I need to list it.  As it is, work has interfered with the first four already.

1. I missed church last night (and this is not the first time) due to exhaustion and feeling sick from the exhaustion.
2. My husband is feeling neglected even though he would never say it.  
3. My children are being affected by my insane morning hours and lack of sleep.
4. My home is a disaster.  Not all of it can be blamed on the tornado.  (Speaking of, construction is supposed to start today.  Well, it was supposed to start yesterday, but that's a different story.)

All of this because what is supposed to be at the bottom has wheedled its way to the top.

When I first started working there and was on nights, I was told "You're going to hate it."  Yes, there have been rough spots and I smoothed them out and got some of the more crass talking to stop through my own creativity.

Then, I am switched to mornings.  I loved the opportunity and learning experience of opening up the restaurant and learning breakfast grill.  (And by sheer force of scheduling, switching to lunch and learning lunch grill.)  My last night working nights, I was told by people at work "You're going to hate it."

I don't hate nights and I don't hate mornings.  What I don't like is the scheduling of the morning hours and making myself sick.  I enjoy the work while I am there.  I am working with a different group of people.  I enjoy both groups of people.  (Although to be honest, I enjoy the night time more.  The morning group, when A comes in, what goes from easy banter quickly switches to silent treatment of me.  But, whatever.)

I am going to talk with S about switching back to nights and having my schedule be Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.  I can not keep going like this. 

My failed harvest

I got in the dirt today and it felt good.  We're cleaning out where next year's garden will be and once it's cleaned up, we will mark it out.  Once as it's marked out and it looks the way I want it to look, we will slowly buy cinder blocks and frame the 4'x4' beds that way.  I have it in my head.  Now, I just need to put it into action so that next spring I will have a successful garden.

In cleaning up, I did come across some surprises.

If I am that successful with a garden that had been destroyed four times, I wonder what my garden will be like should it actually be successful?

Stuff got done

Stuff did get done today, but the house is still a disaster.  The construction workers are supposed to start Wednesday.  

Switching to mornings, I was hoping to be able to accomplish things around here during the day.  Instead, I feel like I am losing control of my home, family, and children.  I am walking around exhausted.  I took a nap today on the bed in the balcony and basically passed out for several hours.  I wasted a whole day.  I get up and shortly after I do, I am having to give Hannah a shower because she doused herself in gasoline.  How did she get it?  She wandered off for less than five minutes while George was mowing.  I just happened to be awake and up when it happened.

After dinner, I am finding myself cleaning up sugar that Hannah got into.  She (keeping in mind she is freshly showered) is covered and sticky.  It is on the floor, in the carpet, and everywhere.  All that gets cleaned up and ten minutes later, she has the tub again and now it is completely gone.  So, I am vacuuming again and I sent her to bed.

Half an hour later, Bethany get a box of glow-in-the-dark-processed-garbage... err... macaroni and cheese and dumps the cheese packet on the floor where I just got done vacuuming the sugar up.  She got sent to bed.

I am hoping that once the construction is done, I will sleep better and the exhaustion will leave.  If it continues, I don't know what I am going to do.  Go back to nights?  Quit my job?

I feel like a failure as a mother.

Labor Day

Science

I forgot to post about our science the other day.  I'm slipping!

Can you tell me what this is?

Argentina and Lessons Learned

Argentina faced a financial collapse back in 1999.  There is a blog/website written by someone giving a first person account of what he and his family experienced.  I think everyone should read it.  I know I have been and it has been really eye-opening for me.  It is helping me to keep things in perspective and reinforcing some of the things we are doing.  It is also showing me where I need to rethink a few things and maybe redo a few other things.

One thing is for sure.  Reading what this guy went through and what led up to it and taking a look at what is happening here....  Let's just say that there seems to be some familiar patters emerging.

The Silver Bear

Mooooove on

The cows have moved on back to their home where they will enjoy a life of ease for a few days while they are being readied for Spendal's.  The family that had them said they have a history of running away.  Being sick of it, they are going to turn the cows into burgers.  They reimbursed us for the feed and will be giving us some hamburger.  As the crow flies, the people are only about a mile away.  Driving, they are 3-4 miles away.

We got pulled over tonight for speeding.  We did not get a ticket, but we were pulled over.  We were clocked doing 71, but the cruise was set at 65.  We will have the speedometer checked out.

I feel like I am functioning on exhausted.  I was going to take a nap today, but that did not happen.  We had to round up the cows and they did not want to be caught.  Did you know cows can jump?  They can clear a 4 foot fence!

Friday Update

ELECTRICITY:  Granted, it has been two weeks since the last update, but hey.  I was out of state.  Anyway, the reading is lower over the past two weeks than it has been for a while.  No constant air conditioning helps.  Although, I am puzzled by the fact that the solar panel above Charlie’s room won’t turn off.  It is making it very warm in this house and hard to breath.  While the heat will be nice for the winter, it is not nice now.  We have had to turn the A/C on the past couple of days to combat the heat put off by the heat being put out.  Right now, we are at just over 100%.  How we will maintain that (or get lower) with this issue, I don’t know.

Meter reading:  79439

Usage:  491kwh (14 day period.)

Percentage: 116%

 

IDC:  We didn’t do much this week.  Although I did give a food package to A who had lost her husband.  I gave her some pork, green beans, canned beans, and pumpkin.  I also gave her some soap and some soap for her daughter as a personal “take care of yourself” and “your daughter is not forgotten in all of this either” type of thing.  One of the perks about doing things like stocking up on stuff or growing/canning, etc is when a crisis hits, we have the means to say “here.”  I was reading an e-mail about a family who lost everything in a fire and the person who helped them is similar to us in that she and her family keeps emergency supplies.  Only she has been doing it a lot longer and has a much bigger supply.  Being an emergency contact for the Red Cross, she had gotten the phone call late at night with “We need clothes, toiletries, food, etc for this family.  Make whatever phone calls or arrangements you need to make this happen.”  No phone calls were made.  (Nothing would have been open anyway.)  She went into her supplies and gathered everything the family needed from there and was able to help out in this emergency without waking other people.  IDC. Independence Day Challenge.  It is real independence to be able to do something like that on that short of a notice and know that you were able to make a difference just by living the way you live.  While we are not there yet (and I don’t know if we ever will be) it is a nice goal to aim for.

 

GARBAGE: We have not had an increase in garbage because the contractors still have not shown up.

 

GASOLINE:  This week, my mileage is 18mpg.  The 2mpg difference is probably driving difference.  25 gallons went in the other day.

 

MONEY:  This last paycheck was not very much.  Between the “new” laptop and filling the van, it was pretty much gone.  This last electric bill was a two month bill, so it hurt us.  It was $504.  How we missed the electric bill last month, I have no idea.  The big purchase this month was the $400 horse trailer.  We have been looking at them for some time now trying to find one we can afford that would be suitable for our purposes.  This looks like it.  It also came with tons of clothes.  Not a lot suitable for us, but some we were able to put aside to be washed.  So, the children got a few new clothes out of the deal.  The rest is going away. 

Anyway, the one time things this month:
Horse Trailer:  $400

Computer (Including diagnostic of the last computer):  $128

Conference:  $360

Rain Barrels: $4

Total: $884

 

HOMESTEAD:  This is bizarre.  We have cows.  Two of them.  They just showed up in our yard.  They took a walk up our driveway and went right into the yard.  Strange.  The owners have a week to claim them.  We’ve called the police.  We had someone from the Sherriff’s Department here to take a report.  He called it in.  We made follow up calls there.  We called the paper to put an ad in and they will run it for a week.  We are doing everything we can to return them and keeping track of the feed.  They do not get claimed, we take them to Spendal’s.

We are going to put Flora down on Monday unless she shows massive improvement.  We are not going to be able to eat her so it will be a bullet to the back of the head.  She will provide us with a learning opportunity and we will learn how to process our own meat.  The meat on her will get burned since it is not edible, but at least her death won’t be a total waste.  That is about all I can find in this.

 

HOMESCHOOL:  Not much has changed here.  We looked at curriculum the other day and will be purchasing on line since Open Door is expensive.   

 

GOALS ACCOMPLISHED:

1.   Enjoy Conference.  (This is a given, but it is nice to have a goal that doesn’t require a lot of effort every once in a while.) = This I definitely did.  Except for the whole taking Hannah to the ER bit.  The cardiology appointment for her is on the 15^th.

2.   Get the apples done before Monday morning. = They were forgotten so I gave them to K.

3.   Be aware of what I am eating.  I always gain during these church events. = I maintained my weight.  This isn’t bad.  I do need to start losing again.

4.   Finish wrapping all soaps. = This is an ongoing thing.

5.   Get all liquid soaps poured. = This is also an ongoing thing.

 

NEW GOALS:

1.   Reorganize my life.  It is chaotic.  My house is a constant mess and we have half finished project both in and out.  I want the fence done.  I want the barn done.  I want the WVO system going.  I want my living room back.  I want my bedroom back.  I want my house back.

Pictures

I worked this morning and learned breakfast.  I had grill duty and learned that almost nothing is actually made.  That almost all of it is reheated.  The eggs for the Egg McMuffins are actually cracked, but other than that, it is a reheat of precooked food (such as pancakes, the folded eggs for the biscuits, the sausage patties, etc) or it is an imitation product such as the eggs substitute that it poured for the scrambled eggs for the big breakfasts.  I did learn a lot, though and also did about half an hour of lunch and finally learned all about the burgers, chickens, and fry products.

The cows are still with us and I have the promised pictures.  The other animals are still not sure of them, but we did discover that they can indeed fit through the gate that divides the yard.  So, they have access to water.

Hopefully, we can do something about all the flies they brought with them.

Brief Bovine Update

Well, the cows are still where we left them and seem to be rather unsure of themselves.  I will get pictures posted some time tomorrow.  I leave uploading to photobucket and all of that stuff to my much more adept husband.  

I lugged out two full 40 quart pots of water to fill a bucket I put out for them.  I am not sure if they can fit through the open gate to the "pasture" area where we keep the feed, water, and where the animals roam.  The other area is a smaller area where we guide the animals when they need to be captured.  It has trees, obstacles, and the door to the milking area, kidding area, and quarantine.  the animals come and go from there, but we close off the area for capture purposes, but keep it open the rest of the time.  

So, I brought water to them and brought along a bag of feed.  I filled two bins with feed.  Having a bag of feed over the shoulder turns anyone into the Pied Piper.  You get followed.  So, I was followed by every single goat right over to the cows.  They stood back and watched.  They watched me fill a thing with fresh water for them and did not move.  They just stood and stared.  I bring out the food and they do not move.  They just stand and stare.  I pour the food and all the goats are gathering around to have this extra special late night treat.  They do not move.  I close up the now half-empty bag and turn to walk away.  I suddenly have a stampede of goats running past me.  The cows moved.  I turn and they start eating the feed.  I continued walking away satisfied that at the very least they have food, water, and a safe place for the night.  What tomorrow will bring, I do not know.  But for now, we have two cows.

And they came two by two

Today, I was going to blog about errand running and having a new (used) laptop that I am now typing on and all kinds of other neat stuff.  Instead, I am going to blog about how strange things seem to happen in my life.  Things like I am up on the balcony laying down in bed and this vehicle comes up our driveway and the children go running opening the door.  I have no idea who these people are, but my children are very welcoming.  So I am chasing after them because I don't know these people and they ask if we own any cattle.
Huh?  Not last time I checked.  Goats?  Yep.  Chickens?  Yep.  Rabbits?  Yep.  Donkeys?  Yep.  Cats?  Yep.  Cows?  Uh, no.
At the end of the driveway, there are a couple of young female cows that are (by my best uneducated guess) to be about a year and a half.  And they are meandering up the driveway.  Ok.  We now have cows.  We weren't interested in cows.  We don't really have the room.  I don't know anyone around who has cows.  Most of the farms around here are crop, not livestock.  But, we'll put them in to keep them safe so they don't get hurt or hurt anyone who might hit them going down the road.
I went to various neighbors and asked around.  No one knows.  The best guess was "____ over across the ravine about a few miles up, but he has buffalo, not cattle.  And he got out of buffalo a few years back, but they weren't too sure if he had any cattle or anything since then.  So-and-so had hog and cattle until he got out of the farm business about 30 years ago.  That was when he lived up over yonder on that house up there.  What color did you say them cows were?"  George called the Sheriff's department and they sent over a neighbor's son who took the report, called it in, then went to check on his dad and asked if we were going to have a cattle roast if no one claimed them.  Sure.  Why not.  I don't know what we are going to do.  If someone claims them, great.  If not, we'll probably have one butchered and the other one, I have no idea.  Butcher it next year?  We aren't wanting to breed cows.  The meat would be nice.  I love beef.  But we don't have the room to raise cows.  A single cow, maybe.  But that's about it.
Anyway, the children were sent to bed early, George is at church, I need to get to be because I have to be up at 3:00 in the morning.  The children have piano lessons tomorrow.  We will start Hannah in October.  I want her to have a month watching so she knows what to expect.  Being a child of 100% mischief, she will need to know what is expected of her and what kind of environment she will be in.  Otherwise, she will create chaos, bedlam, and destruction.  So, she will be watching Charlie and Bethany.  I also need to figure out who has what for make-up lessons.  I can't keep track anymore.  Maybe with me going to openings, I will do better.
I can't believe two cows just came walking up our driveway.  Well, why not.  We have all kinds of other animals come up our driveway and find their way to our house.

Good news and basic blogging

The good news is our head rooster is NOT dead.  It was another rooster with very similar markings.  But our head roo is very much alive and standing tall.  

Flora is still on the sick list.  Her eyes go from cloudy to draining to cloudy to draining.  it is frustrating.  But, we are still working with her.

Today is bill paying day so after breakfast, we will be going out and paying bills.  Nothing important.  Just minor things like mortgage, vehicles, utilities, etc.  ;)

Tonight is my last night on nights.  I get off at 11:00 tonight and have to be back tomorrow at 0400.  I know I am going to be missed.  I already had a lot of people tell me how much they missed me when I was gone to Conference.  Comments like "You are one of the nicest people who work here" and "I missed you so much.  I'm glad you are back."  and "You're here!  You were gone so long!  I missed you!"  I was also greeted with lots of hugs.  When I told them that I was switching to openings beginning Wednesday, all of them were upset.  We'll see how openings go.  I was told that I would hate night shift and while there is language, people enjoy each other.  The rough-housing is done, but the camaraderie is still there.  I care about these people.  

The computer repair place just called about my laptop.  Funeral services will be held Thursday at 2:00pm.  The eulogy will be given by Bill Gates followed by a burial service.  The mother board is shorted out.  It will cost more to fix than it is worth.

We need to get going and get the bills paid.