I had a few conversations tonight which made me see what I knew was there, but was refusing to see.
D had said that "If it ain't working for you, you need to get rid of it."
B had told me about her cardiac issues and hers started out similar to mine. Until stress and exhaustion triggered something and she nearly died. My tachycardia has been bad. I am walking around McDonald's clutching my chest because of my heart racing and as a result, unable to function very well. Stress, exhaustion, and dehydration make it worse. And all three happen there. I am not allowed to have even a small cup of water with me out of sight and I can't just get a drink when I want. When I do drink, inevitably, I have to go to the bathroom. And I can't just run to the bathroom when I want. As a result, my kidneys start hurting because of the backed-up urine which creates more stress which makes the tachycardia worse which dehydrates me more which makes it worse which makes me need more water....
Can you guess where I was heading?
I asked Husband how he would feel if I quit. He said "relieved."