Sunday, August 29, 2010


Due to people's inability to differentiate between what I actually write and what they decide to share, I have been asked to not share about what is going on in my life with regards to R and her situation.  It is one thing to tell her what is on my blog (it's public and she can read it for herself anytime she wants) and what she is being told is on my blog, she has asked that I stop including her in my posts.  (She knows about this one.)  I don't agree with a lot of decisions she is making in her life (as she well knows) however, saying that I am writing things about her that are blatantly untrue just to stir up trouble and cause her grief is not right.  No matter how aggravated I get with her, to purposely cause someone hurt is uncalled for and just plain not right.

Now, for Amy from Oregon (no longer anonymous?) and her concerns that she has shared in a comment.  I replied in comment, but I will share here:

I am concerned about your recent posts regarding your husband. To be frank, I am expecting blog about the fact he dropped dead of a heart attack.I know this is blunt, but really I dont know how else to say it. Pain down his left arm,seizures on going, etc etc.. have you made plans on how you and your kids will live day to day if you are alone?

I do not understand why you are in insisting he gets better medical care? Why are you settling for poor care? Involve a patient advocate. Demand one.

I also do not understand why you are living like you do? Why not purchase a piece of land that was ready to go.What are you trying to prove? Driving a horse and buggy to church, really?

Think about what I wrote regarding your husbands health, he needs to take better care of himself or you will be a young widow.
My reply:
Husband's Health: If you had actually read the follow up, you would see we did see a different VA doctor from the first one. And, he is getting a medication switched to one that does NOT cause seizures. This new doctor is an idiot, but at least he actually looked at Husband unlike the last VA doctor. And this was after talking with patient advocate.
As for this piece of land, it is what we wanted and we are making a go of it. We now have electricity and water. We have a house. Granted it still needs work (insulation, a couple more interior walls, interior plumbing, etc. But, it is ours and we did it.) And, why not do it? This is OURS. There is no electric company to deal with. There is no water company to deal with and boil orders hours after the discovery of it being needed. (How much water - and this includes coffee, tea, soups, etc) do you drink an hour or two before a boil order is called for? And how much time elapses between the time of a boil order and the time you actually hear about it?)

We aren't trying to "prove" anything. We are trying to live how we choose to live. Carving out our own life to live the way we want to. Aren't you trying to do the same in your own way?

Driving a horse and buggy to church - Why not? There are horses and buggies in town right now. There have been horses ridden into town when roads were too washed out for vehicles. In reality though, we don't have a buggy. We don't even have a horse. We have a donkey.

As for me being a young widow, it is something we have faced the possibility of since our wedding day. I am fully aware of his family history and his health history. Believe it or not, he is actually healthier now than when we first met.

How will we make a go of it if I suddenly find myself a widow? I keep going just like any good wife and mother. I keep going with half of me missing and my heart ripped out, but I keep going just the same. Again, it is something that we have talked about at length just like any responsible couple. We discuss the "what ifs" in life. Including if I were to go first and how or what he would do.

Her reply which I will now answer here:
I am glad to hear your husband is advocating for his health care.

It still leaves me wondering what happens when you need 911? Are you prepared for your children to possibly watch their father pass in front of them? I just do not see the wisdom in attempting to start from scratch with your limitations in your family. Healthy, income, experience, education etc.

Winter is fast approaching will your home be ready to go? No insulation, etc and you are expecting your children to stay safe and warm? I get the whole pioneer spirit and all, but I do question the real possibility of some tragic thing happening amidst all of the craziness.

How do the people who swim and boat on the lake take to you washing your clothing with laundry detergent in the same water? I know it would not go over here what so ever.Are you planning on having laundry in your home? I would imagine washing in the snow and rain will be a difficult.

I admire your work ethic, I just question how sane you are.
The possibility of a child watching their parent pass in front of them is something that children living in the inner city face all the time.  These are places that have 911 and policies that state that an ambulance can not go in until they have a police escort.  That is better than this?  I think not.  If anything, I think that is more dangerous.
As for the limitations, we work within them.  We discovered that we could not build the actual house ourselves, so we got the two cabins and put them together and have since moved in.  We discover a limitation and work through or around it.  It is called using common sense and knowing what our limits are.  As for education, my husband spent 13 years in building maintenance doing things like wiring, plumbing, building code inspections, etc.  We have the education and experience.  (He also has a college degree in this field as well.)
Insulation is next on the list.  Winter might be fast approaching in some areas, but there is 70* weather here into November.  Insulation will be going in very soon plus the outside will be rocked to protect against weather adding another layer of insulation from the outside.  My children will be safe and warm.  Not only is there going to be insulation, but we have blankets, sleeping bags, and heat.  I realize that these are new inventions and some people may have not heard of them, but they are wonderful for staying warm.  The sleeping bags protect to -15*.  (It got as cold as 2* here last winter which is very unusual.)  Having wood heat, we don't have to worry about the furnace not working or electricity going out during an ice storm.  (This happened to us a couple of winters ago when we live a "normal" life in a "normal" house.  No electricity meant no heat and no cooking and no hot water.  How is that supposed to be better than this where we are providing for ourselves and this stuff won't happen because we don't have power lines to snap from the weight of the ice or a drunk hitting a pole.)
Tragedy happening:  More tragic than "modern life" of getting hit by a car?  More tragic than drive by shootings?  More tragic than a meth lab cooking next door to where you live?  (We've had a close call with the first and dealt with the other two living in the city.)  Who is living a more dangerous life?
Laundry:  Us doing laundry in the lake (if you had been actually paying attention and not just picking and choosing) was a temporary thing while waiting for our truck to be fixed.  As for what people thought, the locals didn't care.  The tourists were too drunk to notice.  The laundry detergent was an environmentally friendly biodegradable detergent so no fish were harmed in the process of us doing our laundry.
We have a washing machine (again, if you had been paying attention, you would know this.)  We have to run the generator to do our laundry.  The machine sits on our front porch and drains under the house.  (The machine will be moving soon.)  Today, however, we went to the laundromat because of the amount of laundry I had and the fact that it has been threatening rain.  (Please rain!  Please, please, please!)
I question how sane people are who live in the city.  I question how sane people are who willingly use major agricultural practices on their fields when they have children who breathe in these chemicals.  I question how sane people are who blindly vaccinate.  I question how sane people are who have a normal healthy pregnancy and still choose to go to a hospital for childbirth.  I question how sane people are who use formula.  I question how sane you are when you (theoretically) read my blog, so the answers to most of your questions are there, yet you ask anyway.


Human Ape Along for the Ride said...

Well, you already know that I think you're nuts and the feeling is mutual. :-)

I think you do due diligence in your preparations, and if Little House on the Prairie is your ideal, I'm terribly glad we live in a country where that is possible.

I think the goober from Oregon should start writing her own blog so you can pick apart what she does on a daily basis.

Mrs. Hoppes said...

You know, Laura Ingalls Wilder's homestead site is in Mansfield only a couple of hours north of here, so we have a leg up in what works and what doesn't.

amy in oregon said...

Your comments are more like excuses. Your examples are extreme and most unlikely to happen to the average person. I have never seen a drive by, nor a meth house close to my home. I also call into question how many children in the "city" actually see their parents gunned down. The chance of something terribly tragic happening in front of your children are much greater. I hope beyond hope your husbands health improves. I hope he takes care of himself and does not push to hard. I also hope you are succssful in losing weight as you have mentioned, it will be good for both of you and your family.
Your posts prove your husband is not working around his limitations. Having shooting pains and seizures on a regular ( if I am reading your blog correctly, it appears at least once a week) is hardly working around limitations.
I am thrilled to hear your husband has some practical experience with building a home. I am fully aware of blankets, to make such a comments makes you look silly. My children have blanket, and even a sleeping bag if they should chose to use it, but I would not want to put them in a place where they MUST use it or possibly be stuck in freezing weather.

I doubt if you did not cause harm using detergent of any kind in the lake.. honestly.
I do read your blog. I read it because I simply can not imagine putting my children in the situation you have.
I would like to offer a challenge if you will..
post pictures of your homestead. Let us see your cabins an home. Are you willing to do so?

Mrs. Hoppes said...

Of course I'm willing to do so. They are on my facebook, so why not here? I will do so later when I have a bit more time. Meanwhile, why don't you or one of your sybermom friends go over to my facebook and take a look. (I checked my stats when I saw the sudden spike.)

Michelle in Illinois said...

I wonder where and how Amy thinks early settlers washed clothes, if not in lakes and streams?

I'm not sure what city Amy lives in, but I have lived in Indianapolis, have family that lives in Chicago and I now live in a city of 9,000 (so very small in comparison). Meth labs are a risk everywhere nowadays. Shootings are out of control in Chicago and Indy has their fair share. I'd say that in the city, a child has more chance of being shot and killed than actually seeing their own parent shot and killed, but I don't see how that is any better. Not to mention rapes, abductions, burglaries, etc. If you (Amy) live in a city that has none of that, I'd sure like to know which one so when we are ready to move I can check into moving there.

amy in oregon said...

She is not an earlier settler and I am pretty damn sure they did not use laundry detergent. They may of used homemade soap made from ash and animal fat.
I live in Oregon,and not one drive by has happened. Just because they live out in the sticks does not guarantee safety. It just guarantees the cops wont show till it is all over.
Kim, you and your family are heading towards something tragic. I worry for your safety, I worry for your husbands health. I worry for your childrens education and care.
You have limited money and resources.You and your husband are very overweight, they whole do it yourself idea is just not realistic.