Not only have "ladies" from sybermoms been hitting my blog, so have ladies from another message board called La Sobremesa. The Tablecloth, heh? When I posted the reply to the snarky comment, my hits quadrupled in just a few hours. (Keep in mind that the core of the moms at the two message boards are the same.) So I am being discussed at two different forums. Too bad I can't see what is being discussed. On the other hand, I don't care a whole heck of a lot. I do find it amusing that the person who left a comment was too much of a coward to leave a name. Eh, that's ok. I have all the info I need.
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As for the comment, at no time did I say I was trying to avoid "providing" for my children. If anything, we have been discussing at length how to go about doing this without hurting this family. And we have had these discussions for a few years now. Ever since I was first made aware of the child support order. As I said in my reply.... For someone to make that comment, it proves that the person truly does not know me.
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As for the jail issue. I spoke with an attorney (too bad I can't actually hire him pro-bono or otherwise) and was assured that I will not be going to jail on the day in question. So, now I can breath. He looked into the details of the case and I asked him if he knew how or why it all started and he couldn't tell me. He didn't know himself. But he agrees that deciding to suddenly start child support after years of no contact does seem strange. So I still don't know why. As for getting it amended or contesting the back pay from the start date to the date I was made aware would all have to be done in Massachusetts. All Indiana is doing is enforcing the order.
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I have been going over our finances with a fine tooth comb. One of the things I might have to do is drop piano lessons. Charlie has already stopped by his own choice. We are definitely not starting him on guitar any time soon. Or getting him a guitar for his birthday.
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With spring here, I can take from our electric budget. I can also cut back on our grocery budget and start buying cheap/garbage type dog and livestock food. It will mean poorer quality food. The downside is we already had a goat die while kidding. What will that do to other kids and pregnant does? We already know what cheap/garbage type food does to humans.
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Yes, I am trying to look at everything. Thanks to having garbage/processed food for months after the tornado hit, Husband got back on insulin, Bethany's A1c jumped to 5.8 and mine jumped to 5.9. I have no clue what Charlie's might have been because he didn't have a check-up. Husband's latest blood tests also show damaged liver, kidneys, and heart. Ok, I am not going to endanger the health of my family.
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In the divorce, I got nothing and was not ordered to pay support. I don't know what caused this to change. Now, I am being forced to pay child support and still have no way of seeing them. I have not seen them in over a decade. My oldest is going to be 17 in April. She was born the day Waco burned. Her 2nd birthday was the Oklahoma City bombing. The girls are one week short of 19 months apart.
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This sucks.
6 comments:
Kim,
I wandered by here when I had some time to waste and my heart is crying for you.
I can't imagine any part of this has gone the way you would have chosen.
La Sobremesa is the spinoff from IHMMB (the spinoff from bf.com) Kim. Your blog was posted there (and I followed the link here because I hadn't been watching blogspot much). Several of the ladies have said it's not cool to post it there like some kind of gossip. I'm kind of glad it was posted because it brought me here.
Hang in there, hon. You are going to be okay. You are NOT going to jail, I can *almost* promise you that. Not under these circumstances.
You don't have to explain anything to anyone Kim. If you want to share it that's totally cool. But don't feel compelled to explain or justify a situation that doesn't involve anyone but your family and your other children. Its really hard not respond when you feel people don't really understand. I have a hard time not doing it myself.
I hope things settle down and resolve quickly and easily. I'm sure its quite stressful.
Kim, 'tis me B. this whole situation just infuriates me! How can someone who endured a lifestyle at the hands of others since a child to becoming the very giving person you are now is only explained by Christ in your life. How someone who was the perpetrator of much of the degradation and abuse in your life can further harass you is more than I can fathom.
For those who have prejudged the situation I am sure they don't realize that when you and G. got married that later on his Military related injury would cause a disorder that would forever affect your lives. Also that this disorder renders it impossible for him to work or be alone for any length of time necessitating disability. Or that when you have attempted to work, the risk increased the stress and his condition worsened. People are so quick to judge it will be interesting to hear their words when they stand before the last Judge. Have asked for prayer for the situation and will keep praying for you.
I'm also confused by the fact that you were divorced and none of this was addressed then and I would be sure to ask and bring that up in court. Bring your divorce papers in that show that it was not ordered or addressed.
I cannot imagine how hard not seeing your kids has been. I do not understand how you were not allowed to see them though. The way I understand is not being able to see means loss of total parental rights which means no child support so why could they say you could not see them yet come after you for support? Hope things are resolving.
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