While I appreciate your desire to hang out here and wanting to enjoy life in the Hoppes Household, I must ask you to leave. The cranberries and apples left upstairs to rot, the smeared peanut butter on the wall, the ripped books, every single article of clothing in the girls' room on the floor, and all the other messes I find are getting to be annoying. When I ask my children who did it, I am inevitably told that it was you. Granted, we have never met, but that does not mean you don't exist. I see evidence of your existence and my children talk about you and the trouble you get into quite often.
This is your eviction notice. Either start cleaning up after yourself or I will have to as you to leave. Oh, and this letter goes for your friend Ida. (I believe her full name is Ida Know.)
A very tired mommy