Wednesday, October 13, 2010


We have two sets of new neighbors.  One moved in just over a week ago and the other moved in a couple of months back.  The ones that moved in most recently seem to be really nice.  The husband has a lot of health issues and he is hoping that by getting away from city life and living a more natural life, his health will improve.  We filled them in a bit on what we've gone through and how Husband's health has gone through cycles through the years especially with the diabetes.  (He has never not been on some kind of diabetic medication until recently and he seems to be very well controlled.  Yes, I am still excited about that.)

The other neighbors, I get an ick feeling from the husband.  The wife and little girl, I don't.  The boy annoys me.  The husband rubs me the wrong way and strikes me as a subtle, controlling manipulator.  He's around and his wife is quiet.  He's not and she opens up a bit.  He strikes down anything anyone says as nonsense and he knows better on every single subject.  They have been having vehicle problems from the moments they crossed the state line.  (Literally.)  Last night is a perfect example of how he works.  On the surface, it seems like a "no big deal" but the way he does things is just aggravating.

She was supposed to go to scouts with me so she could check it out for her son.  I had invited her and told her the time and she was supposed to come by herself.  She calls as I am going down the driveway saying that everyone is going.  (Keep in mind, I also have a 275 gallon water tank on the back that I am going to be filling as well as picking up water bottles from the new neighbors to fill.)  Knowing this, he invited himself along.  Thinking that he wanted to come along so he could see scouts as well, I wasn't going to argue. 

I asked about their son and they had already called the school to have him not get on the bus and we would pick him up early.  So they had already arranged things as if I had already said yes.

I get there to pick them up and he has a tie rod in his hand.  Now I see some of what else is going on.  He needed a ride to the auto parts store.  Fine, whatever. 

I hit the pharmacy (for me) and the post office and go to the school to pick up their son and on the way to Gainesville, I am hearing about how I am going to drop them off at the thrift store.  I show them where I am going to be (working under the assumption that they would meet me there) and drop them off. 

Knowing I am a den leader and not a sit back and just watch parent, they call me during the scout meeting to tell me where they have walked to.  You are telling me this why?  Knowing I am supposed to be focusing on these boys here and not your movements around town?  If something had happened (one of the children had gotten sick or whatever) I would understand the phone call. 

Scout meeting ends and I call to find out where they are.  Keep in mind an already full bed in the pick-up and an over filled cab.  They did major grocery shopping.  Again, I don't fault them for wanting to buy groceries, but they again just assumed that I would rearrange everything and make room for all of this.  (Which I did.)  Then, he tells me that there are 10 2x4x8s waiting for him stacked outside the lumber yard that he had already purchased and the store closed at 5:00.

The neighbors I am getting water for had called after scouts (they pay attention and made note to wait until scouts was over before calling so as to not interrupt) to see if I could pick ice up for them.  No problem.  I asked them if they wanted bagged or block and got them what they needed.

I dropped off the neighbors that came with us, helped them unload and got a brief off-handed thanks from them.

I drop the water and ice off at the other neighbors and we chatted for a few minutes, asked them if they needed any help, asked what they owed and I tried to tell them it's not a big deal.  She shoved $5.00 in my hand.  More than the cost of the ice.  I tried to refuse it, but she insisted.

I don't mind helping people and in both cases, I was trying to be helpful.  In the case of the ride, I was used and taken advantage of.  In the case of the water and ice, they were thankful and they were considerate.

Now, I am not saying that people should fall on their sword in gratitude when someone helps them out.  However, don't take advantage of someone's good graces and don't use them.  That and when someone already gets an ick feeling from you, don't push your luck.


♥ Michelle said...

I can relate... esp considering my son's father... I can't stand to be around people like that for very long. They suck the life out of you with their demands and little (if you are lucky) gratitude. In my case, there is zero gratitude shown to us and in fact, we are supposed to basically bow down to any demands made of us, because of his situation. I think next time, if I were you, I'd nip it in the bud... otherwise I foresee a lot more of this type of behavior from them. It's one thing to help out, but they need to have consideration for your plans and time as well. Not just assume.

Human Ape Along for the Ride said...

Michelle gives excellent advice on this one! Time to back off a little bit.

Hugs to you!