Why not post this? (I got it off of Fark.)
The article is about college and rape. This blog post is more about some of the comments and less about the article.
Before I get started, let me just make a few things clear. I don't wish rape on anyone. It is terrifying, humiliating, and the victimization, degradation, and humiliation does not end when the rape ends. I have been raped. When there was that big hoopla about Sarah Palin and rape victims paying for their own rape kits, my reaction was "We're not supposed to? I paid for mine."
That said, let me begin. There were quite a few comments about why men rape and changing men's behavior. Someone put forth a common sense comment about a woman and watching where she goes and what she does. Immediately, it was "blame the victim." I blamed myself many times. If this, if that.
A woman should be able to walk down the street butt naked and be left alone. That is not reality. We should be able to live free of the fear of being hit by a car if we play in traffic. That is not reality. Logic dictates that if you play in traffic, not everyone is going to avoid hitting you. You will get hit by a car. By the same token, if you are in college and go to frat parties where there are a bunch of drunks and you yourself are falling down drunk, dressed provocatively (let's face it, you are not going to go to a frat party dressed like a nun) and are dancing and teasing, crap will happen. You are placing yourself in danger.
Should you be raped? No! No one asks to be raped and no one deserves to be raped. However, that does not mean a woman should place herself in a situation where she might be a victim. Just like people lock their doors at night when they go to bed or lock their cars in a mall parking lot to take preventative measures from being the victim of a crime, we as women need to take preventative measures as well. That means not placing ourselves in situations where we end up on the losing end of a fight for our dignity and our life.
Would you place a wallet filled with hundred dollar bills on the seat of your vehicle in plain sight with the windows rolled down so anyone walking by can take it? How much more is your life and dignity worth than that wallet?
And yes, I freely acknowledge that I will catch flack for this. How dare I speak out and tell women to take responsibility for where they go and what they do! I do it because I care. And because I have been there. It wasn't a frat party or a college or even a bar. But if I had made different choices (wiser choices) I would never have been in that situation wondering if I was going to survive it physically and in the aftermath, emotionally or psychologically.