June 25, 2010
I really, really, really despise being without internet. Now, on with my blogless blog entry.
The ER said I was fine. That is I have a viral infection and there is nothing that they can do. It just has to run its course. Then I was told that because this was a non-emergency visit that is I wish to continue to receive treatment (of which there was nothing more they could do) that I would have to pay $175 up front.
Now let’s just get one thing straight. I have no problem with the concept of cracking down on people who use the ER for “I don’t feel like waiting until tomorrow to see my doctor” or some other such nonsense. I saw this a lot. It was especially frustrating when I was waiting for a friend of mine who was being wheeled to emergency surgery in the middle of the night on a Sunday night. And to be fair, I did feel ridiculous in there because I knew that my situation was not an emergency. Just because I felt like I was dying it did not mean I was dying. (And yes, I have been near death before and know exactly what it feels like.)
However, when my husband calls the doctor’s office and gives them my symptoms and is immediately transferred to the nurse and the nurse says “Get her to the ER now” knowing the ER is two hours away, I get annoyed. Not with the ER, but with the nurse. I could have very easily been seen by my primary and been told the same thing. “You have a viral infection on top of the strep throat. That is why you have a fever over 103, are vomiting, have a headache that won’t go away, can’t see straight, and can barely stand to walk.”
In other news, we are no longer allowing our goats to free range at all. At least not until the mountain lion is killed. Elenna is missing and one of Frenchie’s kids had to be put down. We are now down to ten goats.
In other introspective news, as I was laying down with Hannah yesterday with both of us trying to sweat out our respective fevers, I was reading the Bible. I had opened it up randomly and I opened it up to Psalms. The very first chapter. “Blessed is the man who walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly nor, nor standeth in the way of sinners nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.” That right there is the very first verse. I got to chew on that for a bit because every time I think about the family that left, I feel angry and bitter. A lot of work was created for me unnecessarily. Blame was never accepted and the buck was constantly passed. From their son and the public school system (I’m sorry, but I don’t care how lousy a public school is, the parents are still the ones ultimately responsible for their son’s education. Me getting him up to close to grade level in just two months is not some kind of miracle work on my part) to making excuses for rude, belligerent, close to abusive behavior on the part of the child towards the adult. And then accepting it and making excuses for it blaming one thing or another or one “system” or another, expecting us to fix it, then getting mad at us when we say “That is not acceptable behavior and you as the parents need to do something about it.” Or the mother basically depending on this same son to provide her with comfort, security, and emotional stability. Um, no. It is not the child’s job to provide that for the parent. It is the parent’s job to provide that for the child. Or having the child be your “buddy.” No. He will have plenty of “buddies” of his own. You are his parent. Not his friend. Asking the child’s permission if it is ok for him to turn of the computer when it is close to midnight? And being ok when he says “No?” And all this influence has affected these children.
They have been taught in a very short period of time that they don’t have to listen to their parents if they don’t want to, that their parents are not their boss. (Who told you that? B did.) They are learning a hard lesson that B was very wrong. They are expected to listen. I do not say “How high” when they say jump. I do not bow to their demands. And neither does Husband. Even when they pull a tantrum to try to get us to give in. They are also learning that sassing and back talking will get them just the opposite.
So, I have some letting go to do in terms of bitterness of the impact that they have left behind and have been having to teach the children that a real friend will never tell them to not listen to their parents and will never teach them the behaviors that had been taught to them. I am hating to “good friends vs. bad friends” lessons especially since we as the parents are the ones who subjected them to this when we went into this together. They are also learning that even adults can be deceived. And when that deception is made apparent, cut that friendship out. A real friendship will not cause you to try to question what you stand for or try to make you compromise on your morals and values. “Christian” or not. They also learned that not everyone who calls themselves a Christian lives the Christian principles. I know atheists with more morals and values than what we were faced with.
The saddest part of all is Husband calls very few people friends. He does not use that term easily. I can count maybe a handful of people who had that label put on them from my husband. K was one of them. After this, Husband has said he is done even trying to make friends. He will make acquaintances, but he is done with friends. (Unlike me who makes friends fairly easily and makes lasting friendships. That won’t change for me because each friendship I have, I value and cherish. Christian, atheist, pagan, Hindu, Jewish, carnivore, omnivore, vegetarian, vegan, etc.) Those I make friends with know what I stand for and what I won’t stand for. While I have had to end friendships in the past, it has always been with a sadness. It has never been with relief until now. That is another strange thing for me. The relief of the end.
Now if I could just let it go in my head. I don’t know how long that will take. Probably for as long as it takes to get my children to realize that tantrums, sassing, back talking, and general rudeness are not acceptable.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
The driver called about the second cabin. He will be here Monday afternoon. YAY!
Bethany: What’s this? (Pointing to a picture in a book.)
Me: It’s a mummy.
Bethany: What’s a mummy?
Me: (Doing dishes and deciding that I will do Egyptian history and mythology later, but wanting to offer some kind of explanation for Charlie’s Goosebumps book) It’s a zombie wrapped in toilet paper.
Bethany: Oh. So a dead person with no toilet paper is called a Daddy.
Me: Very good.
Bethany: Why is it wrapped in all that toilet paper?
Me: All the clothes were dirty and we don’t want them running around naked do we?
Bethany: But the head is covered too.
Me: It doesn’t want to get a head cold.
Bethany: Is it hiding from people?
Me: Shh. It’s a secret.