Hannah Update and "Stuff"

I took Hannah into the clinic today and she is fine.  She will continue to ooze a bit from her head for a while as a scab tries to form, but other than that, she is fine.  Because she was favoring her arm, x-rays were taken to make sure it was ok.  Because she is so young, comparative x-rays were taken of the opposite arm.  She is fine, energetic, and full of mischief.

I knew she fell off the tree stand.  I knew (after she fell) that there were rocks on the tree stand.  (According to her, Bethany and Charlie put them up there.)  I find out today at the clinic that she had been throwing rocks and she tripped over the pile of rocks on the tree stand she had been throwing from.  I will have her look up words such as "irony" and "karma" at a later date.

As for the other issue, I was debating even posting this rude comment because of the spite, anger, and incredibly ignorant attitude behind it, but instead, I will address it and hopefully further the education of my readers on the issue of domestic violence and reality vs tv show drama.

If I remember correctly, you left your ex husband because he was abusive, yet left your children there. I understand the need to get away etc, but not going back to get your kids I will never ever ever understand. You appear to be reasonably smart women. You have a voice, yet you never used it to protect your children. You went on, had another family. WOW! You have a crap load of answering to do, I would be worried if I were you too.

First of all, I did not "leave my children there."  I fought for them and lost.  Family and civil court do not follow the same "rules" as criminal court.  Custody cases, divorce proceedings, restraining orders are all done in civil court or family court.  There is no "beyond reasonable doubt."  Yet, the order of the judge is just as binding as in criminal court.  If I had grabbed my children, I would have either led my life hiding from the law, flee the country, or gone to prison.

Yes, I had a voice.  My voice at that time was stifled by a man who had tried to kill me.  Who had squashed it into the ground so much, he knew how to act and what to say and how to get his lawyer to shut me down.  I am not the same person now that I was then.  Then, I was not strong enough to fight back.  I did not have inner strength and I did not have money for an attorney.  (Remember, this is family court.  There are no assigned attorneys.  However, one can be bought as my ex- did.)

There is a very good link here that talks about (California specific, but applies to pretty much any state) about family court.  There is also a story here about a woman who had to kidnap her children and flee the country and get amnesty in a different country because of the failure of the court system in this country when it comes to domestic violence.

Yes, I went on to have another family.  It was not something I set out to do.  When I met my husband, I specifically told him that I refused to get married ever again.  "Been there, done that, nearly lost my life" was how I put it to him.  Having another family is not something I will apologize to anyone for.

My biggest worry in contacting (besides everything I shared yesterday) is awakening the wrath of my ex-.  What kind of backlash will that have?  Will I put my children here in danger?

As for the rest of it, Oregon Friend, you need to educate yourself on what domestic violence is, how it impacts a person's life, and how the system works to routinely fail the victims and the children.  Start by reading here and then try working in a shelter.  Help some of these women through the system then get back to me and tell me what a crappy peson I am and how I am the one who failed.  When you are done judging me and the rest of the victims and you finally learn that it is the system that is supposed to protect us that fails us most, maybe you can get out of your little suburbanite lifestyle and work to fix it before you destroy a women who has already been victimized repeatedly by the broken system with your clueless judgements.

After all, how dare I not only survive, but I got strong enough to live.  Shame on me for surviving the system that failed me and daring to try to change it through my own work here.