Stress

I am trying not to.  I am trying to keep the hole in my stomach small.  But, it is hard.  I am hoping the mortgage company does what they say they are going to do and I don't have to worry about packing.  I am looking around and trying to figure out what would come with us and what would go in storage.  I am looking at the animals and thinking about who can take them.  The thought of butchering a pregnant goat is nauseating.  But, if there is no one to take them, I will have no other choice should we be forced to leave.

A part of me wants to plant some more seeds for starts, but another part of me is saying "Why bother?  You don't even know if you will be living here in a month."  How much of our lifestyle and out ideals are going to be able to continue if we are forced to move?

In other news, yesterday was my birthday and Hubby took me to a local Thai restaurant.  (I like Thai, he doesn't so us going there was extra sweet.)  After that, we went to a workshop meeting on local sustainability that we led.  I felt like a fraud.  Here we are talking about local sustainability and I'm not even sure we can sustain our own home.

Tomorrow after church, we go to yet another visitation.  Yes, there has been another death.  My MIL's best friend for the past 10 years died Thursday afternoon.  She had terminal lung cancer.  The real clincher is she never smoked a day in her life.

Anyway, if anyone is interested in local sustainability or the whys of it, I used this video to lead into the discussion.

http://www.storyofstuff.com/