A little better I think

I think my brain is functioning a bit better today. I am pleasantly surprised at the amount of love and support we have received especially over the internet.

Wyatt Earp posted an entry on his blog expressing his concern over me and I found another site that I had never heard of which linked to my blog sharing concern and asking for prayers for me. Plus, the message boards and e-mails that had expressed thoughts, prayers and concerns…. It has been overwhelming and much appreciated. It has let me know just how truly blessed I am.

While I would never wish this past month on anyone, it is good to know that there are people who, even if they don’t know you in real life, know you well enough over the internet to show how much they care.  

MIL’s funeral is Friday and our pastor’s funeral is Saturday. MIL’s burial is on Tuesday. We will be driving there, witnessing the burial, and then driving back. It is 600 miles one way. My SIL will take Charlie and Bethany. Hannah will be with a friend of mine. Animals will be taken care of.  

K brought over some home-canned jars of chili for us for lunch. I’m eating some left-overs of it right now. It is good. A bit bland for my taste, so I added a bit of chili powder, but still very good. Perfect for George. I made a stockpot of “Beans and Greens” (my concoction from last week) with a few variations. No carrots, onion, or garlic. Mainly because I was out of carrots and was too lazy for the others. (That and I didn’t feel like crying again.) While still very good (Hannah had two bowls) Charlie didn’t eat any and Bethany didn’t have much. They really don’t feel good. Charlie has actually been asking to lie down.

Anyway, I have seven quarts of Beans and Greens going in the canner with two half-gallon jars that will go in tomorrow.

I’m trying to keep things as mundane and boring as possible because I don’t think I can handle anything else. I’ve pretty much shut off that part of my brain. I know that come time for the funerals, that part of my brain is going to be dragged out kicking and screaming and forced into the light making me deal. Knowing I will have people around me who are feeling the same kinds of feelings I am will help, though. It helps knowing I will not be alone. And that I am not alone now.

People keep asking me how George is doing. I think he is about the same as me. Just trying to function and keep things under control. I think he will let the hardest of the emotions out when we go to the burial site.