Friday, August 6, 2010

I love bursting people's bubbles

Especially when they are talking out their butts.  There was this guy who was sharing a story about this disturbing couple who apparently goes around trying to "adopt" other people's children.  He made the off-handed comment of "Now what would you do if someone were to grab one of your children and run?"

"I'd shoot the bastard."

He scoffed "No you wouldn't.  You'd be too afraid of hitting your child."

I smiled and said "I'm a good shot."  R backed me up and said "She is a very good shot.  Don't mess with her."

He looked at me and I looked him dead in the eye "You try taking one of my kids and run, I will shoot you in the back.  I am a very good shot.  If I happen to hit my child with a through and through, I have enough medical knowledge to provide stabilizing treatment as we make the two hour drive to the ER while I leave your corpse to rot in the woods.  And just so you know where my moral compass is, I will help hide a body.  I will not lie under oath.  And by the way, this is 80 acres.  So yes, I would shoot any bastard that tries to take off with my child.  Any questions?"

He stuttered and said "And so would I" and continued on with his story.  I think I scared him.  I'm ok with that. 

I think R scared him too because she shared the story of how the entire town found out she sleeps with a loaded gun under her pillow.  I don't know what is more disturbing.  The fact that he back-peddled so fast or the fact that he continued to talk to me long after this.  Or the fact that after knowing that R sleeps with a loaded gun (and can take a man down in 5 seconds flat in hand to hand combat) he is still hitting on R.

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