Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Rest Of The Story

Paul Harvey, a radio legend, has died at the age of 90, FOX News has confirmed.

ABC Radio Network spokesman Louis Adams said Harvey died Saturday at his winter home in Phoenix, Ariz., surrounded by family. No cause of death was immediately available.

Harvey, who was born and raised in Tulsa, Okla., was married to the late Lynne Cooper of St. Louis who died less than a year ago. They had one son, Paul Jr.

He was a news commentator and talk-show pioneer whose staccato style made him one of the country's most familiar voices. He was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by George W. Bush in 2005.

Known for his resonant voice and trademark delivery of "The Rest of the Story," Harvey had been heard nationally since 1951, when he began his "News and Comment" for ABC Radio Networks.

In a statement, ABC Radio Networks President Jim Robinson calls Harvey "one of the most gifted and beloved broadcasters in our nation's history."

He began his radio career in 1933 in Tulsa, while he was still in high school, his Web site said.

Paul Harvey News consisted of more than 1,200 radio stations and 400 Armed Forces Network stations that broadcast around the world and 300 newspapers, his biography reported.

A virus that weakened his vocal cord forced him off the air in 2001. But he returned to work in Chicago and was still active as he passed his 90th birthday.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,502645,00.html

Relearning

There have been people that have tried to teach me how to crochet.  I would learn, try to keep at it, and then life distracts me.  Then when I go to pick it up again, I am clueless beyond the chain stitch.

Today, I learned again.  And, I learned something I had never learned before.  How to make a circle.  The circle is supposed to eventually be a hat.  We'll see.  I learned with 8 or 9 other people.  It was a lot of fun as well as being funny watching people mess up.  Including me.

I also learned something else today.  The flour I use is a very high quality flour.  It is chemical free and GMO free.  It is Wheat Montana.  One cup of this flour that I made a conscious decision to buy through the local buying club which is a once a year purchase is worth SEVEN points.  Well, seven on the web site and eight on the pocket tracker.

I know I can make this work.  And I did warn that I would be talking a lot about this as I worked through it.  It just seems to me that these dietary changes we made several years ago which got my diabetic husband off of insulin and on Metformin, off of blood pressure and cholesterol and liver medications completely is considered "bad" according to the points system.  The core program (filling foods) when looking at the points of some of these foods is still not all that great.

The flour bothers me greatly.  Not just because we have several hundred pounds of it, but because I cook with it a lot.  Our pancakes which are healthy and use whole foods is very high in points.  The waffles are made from the same batter.  Our breads are made using this flour.  I make my own whole wheat bread and because I choose a high quality flour that is chemical and GMO free, it is a higher point value.

The core foods are confusing.  Dry fat free powdered milk is considered a core food but goat milk is not.  Incidentally, I had first thought that goat milk had less points than store-bought whole milk, but it doesn't.  And whole milk is not a "filling food."  (Core food.)

There is no goat as a filling foo

d.  Goat is listed, but it is not a filling food.  (Core food.)  Beef cube steak is a filling food???  Oh my word!  Did someone miss the memo about goat being a leaner and healthier red meat that cow?  Did they also miss the memo of how cube steak is made?  

Canned turkey is a core food.  Ground turkey is a core food.  But turkey breast cooked with the skin is NOT a core food.  Someone missed the memo again.  Ground turkey breast is made with a lot of fat and skin unless you are very careful and specific with your label reading.  

Guinea is listed.  There is only one listing for it.  (Guinea hen.  I guess no one ever cooks the roosters.)  It is not a core food.

Eggs are a core food.  That is good.  But so is egg substitute and powdered eggs.  And frying the eggs makes it no longer a core food, but the points value doesn't change????  That makes sense.

I was talking with C about this and she is just as baffled as I am.  I definitely have tons of questions for Monday because a lot of this does not make sense to me.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Friday Update

ELECTRICITY: We have gone up. OUCH. I haven’t been paying much attention this week. Time to remedy that.
Meter reading: 68889
Usage: 743kwh
Percentage: 352%

IDC: No planting. No harvesting. But, we have been planning out the garden in more detail and I did pick up onions to plant. I was looking for sugar beets because I would still love to be able to try my hand at making my own sugar. We transferred money into paypal so we can get chicks in the next week or two.

GARBAGE: We cleaned out all the dead electronics and brought other garbage into town to my SIL’s. We’re doing spring cleaning little by little.

GASOLINE: No fill ups this week. No idea how many gallons got used. 

MONEY: I spent money joining Weight Watchers. George got himself a pair of glasses. Money well spent. Especially on him. Me. I’m still deciding. I know I can make it work. It will just take time as I figure it out.  

HOMESTEAD: Flora kidded twins and one of them died. Ruby is still alive and well and thriving. Her donkey ears are starting to relax and now stick out the sides instead of straight up.
One of the pigs got lose last night and being heartbroken over not being with his brother, it was rather easy ushering him back in. I had nightmarish visions of mud sliding trying to capture the pig to get him in.
The feed order has been placed and we will be picking that up on Monday.
 
HERBAL STUDY: Diabetes – Garlic (the allium in it), milk thistle, prickly pear cactus, and fenugreek are all things I keep running across for natural control of diabetes. It is definitely interesting and something I want to look into in more detail before we give any if this a try.

HOMESCHOOL: This is still on track. Charlie still does not like writing, but giving him a time limit seems to help. He is enjoying geography and science. He loves literature because he likes being read to. And he likes the impossibility of the fantasy adventures in the Myths and Legends book.

WEIGHT LOSS: I joined Weight Watchers last Monday and will be moving this to Mondays so that it coincides with my weigh-ins.

GOALS ACCOMPLISHED: I did do some herbal research. YAY! I also have my control journal on this laptop, now it is just a maintenance thing. YAY! I have also done some exercising. YAY!

NEW GOALS:  
1. Get the rest of my seeds started.
2. Clean out the garage so Hubby can start up the WVO system again since spring is coming.
3. Get the chicks ordered.

HERBAL/ILLNESS STUDY OF THE WEEK: Asthma. I had this before and it got pushed aside. I am wanting to research this for a friend of mine for her and her daughter.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Argh!

No, I am not a pirate.  I am just frustrated at things not working out exactly how I want.  The cheese (which did eventually become mozzarella like I wanted) didn't work out right.  I finally got around to the Amish Friendship bread and in doing the bit just before separating them out, I had a million and one distractions.  Three of them underfoot and the phone ringing constantly being the primary ones.  So where it said to add 1 1/2 cups of milk, I added oil instead.  So, no separating and making five times the amount I needed or wanted and having a bunch of loaves (and a bunt cake) of the bread.  And, I am out of starts.  

I am thankful that it still turned out ok even as I was trying to figure out the math and how to fix where I royally messed up.  I am also thankful that it was Geography day and I had some people to feed the bread to.  And to give a loaf to.  Five loaves and a cake total.  One got devoured.  One got sent home with M and her family.  The rest is still sitting around here and I have no idea how to figure out the points value of it.

Is this what my life has become?  To drink coffee, I had to work out a compromise.  I can't drink it black.  I tried.  So instead of putting a whole food in it (raw milk) I am putting a chemical composition of who knows what that has no points value because there is nothing in there that is anywhere close to being a food.  So let's take the real food out of my body and insert chemicals instead.  THAT's healthy!  But neither is my weight.  I need to figure something out here.  I am not fond of fake food.  (What I call "Frankenfoods.")  But I am not fond of my weight either.

On paper, I am healthy.  Cholesterol, blood pressure, A1c, etc.  All healthy.  My only medical issues are a lack of thyroid (not dietary related) and my tachycardia (also not dietary related.)  But I don't want to develop issues either.  So, I am trying to lose weight.  But if losing weight means eating chemicals according to the points value system, then what is that doing to people's bodies?  Fat free half and half is not anywhere near being a food.  The granola bars that they sell are no where near being a food.  Splenda (cheered by many of the people there) is no where near being a real food.  But, Splenda is zero points.  However, if you are diabetic (like my husband) and have kidney issues (like my husband and many diabetics) and consume this fake food, it will ruin your kidneys.  Honey, a natural product, has a very low glycemic index, has many health benefits (sore throat, cough, wounds, etc) and yet according to the point system, it does not differentiate between that or a same measure of highly processed white sugar.

I have my monthly pass.  I am tracking my points, but I just feel like I am running into walls.  It seems as though to keep with the points, I have to eat fake foods or really restrict what I eat.  I have a feeling that when the points system was created, farm life and real food was never thought of and fake foods are considered the norm.

I am not giving up though.  I am sure that every new person who joins WW has their own issues.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Better Today

I did better today with my points allowing me a piece of birthday cake left over from Sunday.  And even with the cake, I managed to stay under points.  I am missing coffee, though.  I've been crabby, but I am going to blame the children.  They seem very hyper right now.  (Well, right now, they are in bed for my sanity.)

The pigs need their evening meal and fresh water.  Flora needs food and water.  I need to make up some whole wheat bisquick mix.  I also need to clean up from dinner still.

We did errand running and bill paying today.  Our cell phone bill is over $400.  Shocked, I looked closer and saw that I went over my minutes.  Way over.  Over 500 minutes over.  This is an anomaly.  That is what we are saying anyway.  We've never gone over before and having the number of deaths and illnesses and having to call places and be on hold a lot racks the minutes up quickly.  If we are over again, I will look into more minutes.

We transferred money into paypal so we can place our order for chicks.  We are getting hens from one place and the turkeys and guineas will come from another.  We also need to order a disbudder.  The places around here stopped carrying them.  They have disbudding paste and if we separated and bottle fed the kids, we might do that.  But since we keep the kids with their moms and the moms clean them, we don't need the paste being ingested.

I discovered another reason why I like my insurance agent.  I had told him that we had been unable to get George life insurance and explained the whole situation.  Diabetes is fine.  Seizures is fine.  Combined is not fine and add a plate in the head makes it more not fine.  Not only can he not get insurance even with the high-risk acceptors, they (the high-risk acceptors) had said that even if we did find someone who might take him, it would be so cost prohibitive that it would not be worth it.  That we would be better off just putting money aside ourselves.

Telling our agent this, he was astounded because the guy he referred us to can usually match high-risk with someone but that is not the case here.  The guy who assessed us even has a child who has seizures so he understands the dilemma.

Anyway, the agent had said that he will keep his eyes and ears open for someone who might take George even if that means it won't be with (insert insurance company name here.)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Day One

These next few days are going to be loaded with WW as I navigate the ins and outs of the point system and how it all works with my lifestyle.  I did go 1.5 points over today.  I also learned a few things.

1.  I drink too much coffee.

2.  Coffee is free, but the stuff that goes in it is bad.  A single cup of coffee is 6.5 points.

3.  A single cup of coffee is actually a quart-sized mason jar.  Because is is a human-sized cup, it is actually half a point.

4.  I don't drink fat-free stuff.  As a result, the raw goat milk that goes in it has lots of points.  The points system does not differentiate between plain sugar, raw sugar, or honey.  It all has the same points per tbs.

I am going to either learn how to drink it black or give up coffee.  That is way too much point usage for a single cup and since I (until today) drink 2-3 POTS of coffee, this is not going to be easy.  Coffee is its own food group!  It's right up there with chocolate!  More important that chocolate.  Chocolatey goodness is not needed for physical survival!  (Mental survival, maybe, but not physical.)

In science today, I made mozzarella cheese.  Well, I tried.  It just did not want to set up.  So, I scooped out some of it, drained it, and made a dessert cheese.  When I got home from being gone for several hours, the cheese finally set up and I now have a large ball of mozzarella.

I went out with M today and did a bunch of shopping.  I picked up some things George might like, some lunch meats including lean turkey breast, some dark green lettuce, and a bunch of other stuff that might help me with my points.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Well, I did it

I joined Weight Watchers. This is something I have been going back and forth in my mind about for a while. I know what I need to do to lose weight; hopefully, this will give me the motivation I need to follow through.  

My official weight is 258.6 which means it is down from the end of last week. Either that or their scale is nicer to me than my SIL’s. I still have not gotten myself a scale and it is something that I am still hesitating about. Although I have not had serious bulimia issues for years, it is still something that I am very aware of and remember clearly the nightmare that I lived during that time.

My point allowance is 33 points a day and 35 extra points a week. Now, I have to figure out points when it comes to cooking from scratch.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

She's Gone

She's gone.  She didn't make it.  We got her body temperature up, but it wasn't enough.  She let out a few bleats as I was ushering the girls upstairs to bed and while I was tucking them in, she died.

It had only been a couple of minutes, but it was too late.  Chest compressions, chest massage, nothing.  She was gone.

There's been too much.  Way too much death.

I know death is a part of life.  I know that farming means dealing with death even in birth.  I also know that I am probably over-reacting because of my MIL, Reverend, and Norma.  (MIL's best friend.  Her funeral was this evening.  We went to the visitation today.)  But just because I can logically explain my emotions it does not mean I am not slowly losing my mind.  Thankfully, there isn't much left to lose.

Not Again

This is not happening again. I saw it happening and I did nothing. We had to intervene to get Flora to nurse at all. We had to hold her still and we got Ruby on the teat. We never got Fauna on it. We figured (hoped) that since she nursed one, she would have it figured out and nurse the other.

I looked in this morning and my heart sank. But, I hoped I was over reacting. After all, I do have a tendency to over react when it comes to the animals. She was away from the other two, laying down, and shivering. But I told myself that she is fine. That Flora was just tending the other one. If she wasn’t fine, she wouldn’t be softly bleating and holding her head up.

We went to church and went to the visitation and came home. I looked on the monitor (yes, we have a camera and monitor set up) and didn’t like what I saw. I quickly changed, ran out to the kidding stall and not only did Flora never nurse her; she ended up outright rejecting her. I tried to bring her to Flora and Flora ran from her.

I brought her in and gave her Goat Drench, a vitamin B shot, and a couple of teaspoons of colostrums that we saved from when we milked Flora a week ago.

Will it be enough to bring her back from the edge? I don’t know. 

Saturday, February 21, 2009

FINALLY!

Flora kidded twins.  Both girls.  She has not rejected them (yay!) but she is not letting them nurse either.  Not uncommon for a first timer, but it is still a bit worrisome.  I am going to give it a couple of hours before I step in.  I want her to let them nurse on their own.  If I do have to step in, what will happen is George will hold Flora and I will bring the babies to the teats to nurse.

When we get the pictures uploaded, I will post them.  I will say that one of them has "Donkey Ears" and it is the most comical thing ever!

Stress

I am trying not to.  I am trying to keep the hole in my stomach small.  But, it is hard.  I am hoping the mortgage company does what they say they are going to do and I don't have to worry about packing.  I am looking around and trying to figure out what would come with us and what would go in storage.  I am looking at the animals and thinking about who can take them.  The thought of butchering a pregnant goat is nauseating.  But, if there is no one to take them, I will have no other choice should we be forced to leave.

A part of me wants to plant some more seeds for starts, but another part of me is saying "Why bother?  You don't even know if you will be living here in a month."  How much of our lifestyle and out ideals are going to be able to continue if we are forced to move?

In other news, yesterday was my birthday and Hubby took me to a local Thai restaurant.  (I like Thai, he doesn't so us going there was extra sweet.)  After that, we went to a workshop meeting on local sustainability that we led.  I felt like a fraud.  Here we are talking about local sustainability and I'm not even sure we can sustain our own home.

Tomorrow after church, we go to yet another visitation.  Yes, there has been another death.  My MIL's best friend for the past 10 years died Thursday afternoon.  She had terminal lung cancer.  The real clincher is she never smoked a day in her life.

Anyway, if anyone is interested in local sustainability or the whys of it, I used this video to lead into the discussion.

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

Friday, February 20, 2009

Friday Update

ELECTRICITY: We have gone up. I am really not surprised since the dryer was used quite a bit this past week. I had a LOT of laundry. Where it comes from, I have no idea.
Meter reading: 68146
Usage: 663kwh
Percentage: 314%

IDC: No planting. No harvesting. No planning. Just functioning at this point. Unless you count the ten boxes of Thin Mints.  

GARBAGE: We did a lot of burning this past week. We have more to do. We are doing pre-spring clean-up around the homestead.

GASOLINE: No idea how many gallons of gas got used, but we did put $15 of diesel in the truck yesterday. 

MONEY: Last Saturday, I spent $28.00 at the post office. Granted a good portion of that was for the water bill money order. But part of that was also for mailing out a soap order complete with delivery confirmation. They can’t find it and there is no record of it. So I am going to take my receipts and go there and find out what happened.
Other money spent:
$35.00: Thin Mints
$16.00: New Goshen Mini Mart



HOMESTEAD: I recalculated the due date and the absolute latest she could kid is tomorrow. That is going 5 days past the due date.  
We’ve been cleaning up around the homestead and laying out the squares for the garden plots. We are putting rabbit poop and other non-edible compost type stuff in the plots to ready them.
I got some heirloom seeds yesterday and am excited. I am looking forward to planting them. Visions of fresh produce are dancing in my head.
We also got a puppy. She is supposed to be temporary, but I think she has wiggled her way into our hearts and home. Bethany has named her Princess Buttercup. (Why, oh why do I allow the children to name the animals?)  

HERBAL STUDY: No studying this week.

HOMESCHOOL: We have resumed our homeschooling adventures. Geography has been moved to Thursdays after Literature to accommodate the family whose father is one of our trucker buddies.
Science on Tuesday was baking chocolate chip cookies and learning about the importance of not just following directions, but also understanding what the directions mean. (As a funny, packed brown sugar does not mean taking the brown sugar and putting it in a suitcase.)  
For Literature, we read a Greek myth about Andromeda and Perseus.
We’ve been having Charlie do copy work from the Bible and he does not like it. He wrote me a note saying he can’t do his writing because he can’t write.

WEIGHT LOSS: Thin Mints lie. They are called Thin Mints because if you eat these mint cookies, you will become thin. Right? Right? Well, guess what? I am up three pounds. Guess what else? I still have lots of boxes. I think it is time to hide them from myself.

GOALS ACCOMPLISHED: I am going to continue to have this here in hopes that I will actually start working on my goals.

NEW GOALS:  
Exercise
More sewing
Get my control journal on this laptop
(I’m keeping them the same. Again.)

HERBAL/ILLNESS STUDY OF THE WEEK: Diabetes. I want to study diabetes and see what herbs (besides fenugreek) help with maintaining a healthy glucose level.
(I’m keeping this the same. Again.)  

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I'm Scared

I am terrified we are going to lose it all. We got a notice by certified mail that our home is due up on the auction block for a tax sale. Apparently, the mortgage company stopped paying the taxes. Yet, (and as soon as I find the paperwork, I will prove it) we have continued to be charged in escrow for the property taxes.

George contacted the mortgage company and we are supposed to fax them something to their tax department with our loan number and they will pay it within five days. This house is due up for auction in less than a month.

We need $4,021.24 by March 2 to keep this from happening and we are stuck relying on a mortgage company that has a history of being less than helpful.

This is the same mortgage company that tried to say we paid $500 less than we did and spent the next six months going after us even though we had documentation (including phone calls and letters from the Credit Union) verifying we actually paid what we paid.

I am really not in the mood to have all of us become homeless.

George has gone to fax the paperwork and talk to the county office, but I am not holding my breath. 

Does anyone want $4,000 worth of soap? (Not that I have $4,000 worth of inventory.)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Stall tactics 101

Charlie decided that he did not want to do his copy work so he was going to drag his feet.

I'm thirsty.

I have to go to the bathroom.

My pencil tip broke.

I'm hungry.

And on and on and on.

While he did not do as far as I wanted, he did a good portion.  We made him stay up until a little after 9:00 doing it.  He will continue tomorrow picking up where he left off.  Right about now, I am not caring about neatness so much as him getting it done.  He will hopefully learn that stalling is not going to work and he will do his assignment.  We will work on neatness later.

George helped me with the dishes tonight which I enjoyed.  I found it to be very sweet and romantic.  Call it corny, but romance comes in the little things as much as in the big things.

I re-calculated Flora's due date again and I'm going to give it another week just to be safe.  I had initially gone back a month to before seeing the signs of pregnancy.  Recalculating to two weeks before noticing gives me a due date of yesterday.  So I will give it one more week before doing any kind of induction.  I don't want to take them prematurely, but I don't want to have her carrying them so far over that she won't be able to deliver on her own.  There is also the risk of fetal death and her being unable to expel them.  It is a balancing act trying to decide when to step in and when to stand back. 

Science

Chocolate chip cookies count as science, right?  Right?

Each child made their own batch of chocolate chip cookies using the same recipe.  Each batch came out different.  Why?  Well, it depends upon how well they understand the directions and how well they follow them.

Some cookies were really good.  Some were very flourey (is that a word) and some were very salty.

It was a huge, horribly disgusting, wonderful mess and the children had fun.  After the cookies were made, we went outside where A and M found a couple of eggs.  In Bethany's enthusiasm to show them to Daddy, one got dropped and it broke.

Everything is cleaned up for the most part.  The floor needs mopped.  Hannah is asleep.  Bethany is eating a Giant Cookie that she made special.  (I've decided to be a horrible mom and have lunch be an apple and chocolate chip cookies.)  Charlie is doing his copy work.  I am ready for a nap.  

I have steaks out for dinner and I'll make squash to go with it.  I made up a huge salad last night and we will have that as well.

I have scraps that need to go out to the pigs.  I'll do that later.  When I went out earlier, I noticed that they found their way to being muddy.  Yay.  (sarcasm)  Pigs are disgusting.  But bacon is soooo gooooooood.  I only have to put up with the smell and mess for six months.  I can deal with anything for six months.  Even the over powering smell of methane and the mess of the mud that you sink ankle deep into.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Today's ramblings

It is 11:30 in the morning and I am taking a small break. I am still trying to gather e-mail addresses while taking a break.

I’m rearranging the garden in my head again. At least I am doing it now before it is set up rather than waiting until it is all laid out.  

I’ve been washing out canning jars. When we got the pigs, we were also given a dozen boxes full of jars. Most of them with food in them. All of the food 20 or more years old. So, I’ve been opening the jars, dumping the food into a large bucket, tossing the lids and rings, and washing the jars. The food has been taken out to the pigs. (The food that is really bad gets thrown away.)  

Charlie is doing is math. Bethany is doing Starfall. (She keeps calling it Star Trek.) Hannah is pestering Bethany. Bethany is having a hard time controlling the mouse. She’ll learn, though.  

They both have piano lessons today. For the next four weeks, they will be having two lessons a week to make up for what has been missed.

Charlie just got set up with his copy work. I am having him copy from Proverbs starting at the first chapter. I am going to have him do just a few verses at a time. Right now, it will be the first six verses. This afternoon, we might have him do a few more.

After lunch, we will be doing geography. I know we are supposed to do it in the morning, but the family that joined us had to drop it because the father is taking his GED classes. I most certainly am not going to interfere with that. But, they will be joining us for science. Tomorrow’s science is going to be baking with some extra fun thrown in. I’ll have several different things going so they can see the importance of following and understanding the directions being followed.

Well, we had piano and while they were in lessons, we picked up our order of Girl Scout cookies. They are evil, addictive concoctions made to force you to spend money on something you don’t want under the guise of needing it and helping a worthy cause.  

STAY AWAY FROM THE THIN MINTS!

Anyway, looking over Charlie’s copy work, he still has to practice neatness. His writing is horrible. He did not finish the six verses so he will continue it tomorrow after science.

He did help me in the yard with picking up trash and burning it. In cleaning the yard, I did discover something.

The good news is the hens are laying. The bad news it they are dropping from anywhere and the eggs are getting stomped or cracked. But, they are laying.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Still Playing

I'm still playing with the color scheme.  I'm not sure if I like it yet or not.  It looks like a bubble gum factory exploded along side a cotton candy factory.

Tomorrow is supposed to be President's Day.  I find it to be a joke.  The federal government takes a day off to commemorate Presidents Washington and Lincoln.  Oh, how far we've fallen.  There was a time when the seat of the President of the United States was a seat that was to be respected.  I still respect the seat, but the person that currently sits in it hasn't done a thing to impress me.  I take that back.  He has impressed me.  He has impressed me with his ability to side-step valid questions, lie, break promises, and get himself elected based on looks and charisma.  That is impressive.  Enough of that.  Let's talk about things that are more important.

The pigs.  They are doing very well.  I have a feeling when they are full grown they are going to be quite huge.  And tithing them is going to be no small feat.  (We make an attempt to tithe what we raise and grow.  Either by giving directly to the pastor or bringing to conference or giving to other pastors.)  Since it is the dead of winter, I am still visualizing the garden plots.  I have a firm idea on what I want in the medicinal garden, but I am still deciding what to grow for the food bank.  I would like lasting produce.  Maybe corn and potatoes.  I don't want to grow something that will wilt in a couple of days like lettuces, but I don't want to not give much needed greens.  I'm still working this out in my head.

For our own garden, I have my wish list made out and am anxious to place the order.  I need to get together with A to find out what she is ordering.  We combine our order and split our seeds.  I also need dirt.  I have tons of cells.  I need more dirt.  I have a few sprouts from what I have planted so far, but they are still too young to transfer.  I would also like to build a cold frame so I can plant outside sooner and have it go longer.

I'm still deciding on a CSA this year.  I would like to have one because I know I will get some produce that I won't be growing.  But, I don't know if I will actually need one.  I am going to be growing quite a bit.  What I need to grow are fruit trees.  And grape vines.  And get the lumber moved.  Spring is coming.  It is a lot of work, but it is well worth it.  I come in covered in dirt and sweat and know that I am doing something good for my family.  The children help.  They are learning.

Having them grow up knowing where their food comes from places them head and shoulders above most people.  I know people that eat meat, but refuse to have anything with a bone in it because they don't want to acknowledge the fact that their food was once a living, breathing animal.  And those that do know that their food was once an animal don't really care how the animal was treated, raised, fed, or even realize that their meat that they ate three months ago was recalled last week.  (Kroger recall again.  And this is not a repeat of six months ago.  Or last year.  Or the year before.)

Having bought a beef package from Spendal's the other day, I realized that I have become a bit of a food snob.  (Ok, so I had that realization since long before now, but it was another reminder.)  This beef was the first meat we had bought in over a year.  (Outside of hot dogs or lunch meat which I will not even bother to call food.  Frankenfood maybe, but not real food and a rare buy.)  This meat was bought with the intent to feed us with planned meals and will last us six months.  (50# of beef.)  This will last us until it is time to take the hogs in.  And Peanut.  (That reminds me.  He needs to be castrated before he impregnates his sister.)  The meat from Peanut and the hogs will also last a good long time.  And a few months after that, it will be time to butcher turkeys and guineas.  (Which we still need to order in a couple of weeks.)

Yes, this is a lot of meat.  But we are talking food for my family for a year.  What we take to Spendal's or butcher ourselves in the fall has to last us until next fall.  Last fall, that did not happen.  We lost too many rooster chicks, turkey chicks, and guinea chicks.  When all those chicks died, we lost half of our meat food.  (It was also a lesson that free chicks does not equate to good or healthy chicks.  Hence ordering them ourselves rather than participating in Chick Day.)

The hog piglets are definitely a blessing.  While I feel horrible for what S is going through, it is a blessing for us.  And we will be bringing meat to them as payment for the hogs and to give them a chance to enjoy the final results of the time that they put into them these past few months.

Bethany and Hannah are still talking about "Grandmom's dead."  It will be a while still before this fades.  While I am saddened by opportunities lost, I am thankful that she did not have a long, drawn out, suffering illness.  She had taken care of many people who had long illnesses and trachs and feeding tubes and monitors and all this other stuff.  And she took care of them in her home.  She never wanted to put anyone else into that position.  She never wanted to be the person who was hooked up to machines and feeding tubes and having her life extended like that.  She had a DNR order and "no-code" on her charts.  She died the way she wanted and the way we prayed.  We prayed for her passing to be peaceful and her greatest fear was dying alone.  Her passing was peaceful and she was not alone.

While it will be a few years yet before the girls understand about death, hopefully they understand at the very least that Grandmom was loved.

Psalm 112

1: Praise ye the LORD. Blessed is the man that feareth the LORD, that delighteth greatly in his commandments. 
2: His seed shall be mighty upon earth: the generation of the upright shall be blessed. 
3: Wealth and riches shall be in his house: and his righteousness endureth for ever. 
4: Unto the upright there ariseth light in the darkness: he is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous. 
5: A good man sheweth favour, and lendeth: he will guide his affairs with discretion. 
6: Surely he shall not be moved for ever: the righteous shall be in everlasting remembrance. 
7: He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD. 
8: His heart is established, he shall not be afraid, until he see his desire upon his enemies. 
9: He hath dispersed, he hath given to the poor; his righteousness endureth for ever; his horn shall be exalted with honour. 
10: The wicked shall see it, and be grieved; he shall gnash with his teeth, and melt away: the desire of the wicked shall perish.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

I figured it out

The pictures were cut off due to the template I was using.  I switched templates (not really liking this one as much as I liked the other) but I like the fact that the pictures are no longer cut off.  That means you can see both pigs clearer and you can see all the goats lined up.  And in the picture with the cat, you can see the dog seconds before he grabbed the cat and dragged him a few feet.  (They play rough.)

My SIL stopped by today for an hour or so.  We played cards and talked.  She is still having a hard time with the death of MIL.  That is understandable.

I put Flora up on the milking stand this morning.  She fought it hard.  I was hoping milking her would help bring on labor.  I am getting really worried.  She did produce some nice, thick colostrum.  I am saving it in case it is needed for the babies.  If she does not kid by Monday, I am calling the vet.  Make that Tuesday.  Monday is a holiday.  Even being horribly wrong with the due date, she should have kidded long before now.

Off to play with this new template.

Friday, February 13, 2009

More storm pictures

Another tree had fallen in our backyard.  (I am discovering that no matter how I position the pictures or try to size them, Blogger cuts off the right half, so how much will be visible, I won't know until after I hit the post button.)

It completely uprooted.  I am thankful that not only did it not land on any of the animals, it missed the transformer that sits in our backyard and also missed the back fencing.




Storm Pictures

A tree had fallen across our driveway.  The first picture is to give an idea of the size of tree it was.  It snapped at the roots.  The ground is still very wet and squishy.






Updated Homestead Pictures

Our newest additions.  They are named Bacon and Pork Chop.


He keeps the mice down to a minimum.  His name is Boy.  His sister (Girl) was killed by a car just over a month ago.


TEN-HUT!  Gi-gi is leading the staring contest.  (At what, I have no clue.)  The rest are (from left to right) Robin, Flora, Peanut, and Star.


Most of our flock.  There are a couple of hens hiding that come out every once in a while.


Our fearless guardian of them all, Buddy.


Friday Update

ELECTRICITY: We are way down from where we have been the past few weeks and it just brings to light what I have known, and will be making me look into alternative heat sources more. This past week, the weather has been wonderful. It has been in the 50s and for a couple of days, in the 60s. So our usage has dropped drastically. (It also shows that we are still using quite a bit elsewhere, but I will deal with that again at a later date.)
I am desperate to find non-electrical heat sources and have been stone-walled. This stinks. I have an idea of what I want and have read and seen it used in other homes like ours. Any idea I come up with gets shot down.
So, I sit and wait and track and do other things to try to reduce our usage. (And our bills.)
Meter reading: 67483
Usage: 431kwh
Percentage: 204%

IDC: We used some of our emergency supplies this week and have basically lived on junk for the week-end and first part of the week.
I did pick up some dried beans, peas, lentils, and barley. I am noticing those prices slowly creeping up, so I am trying to remember to pick up a few bags at a time and when we get home, place them in glass jars. (Anti-mouse factor.)
I also picked up our beef package. That should last us six months or so. As I told the guy, we have been missing red meat. Normally, we get our red meat from our goats, but we haven’t brought any goats in. So, for the first time in I don’t know how long, I placed an order for beef. It is local, raised right, and taken to a local butcher.  

GARBAGE: We are going to be burning tomorrow. We have a lot.

GASOLINE: We drove over 1200 miles in less than 36 hours. We did get our gas at the Seneca Indian Reservation while we were in New York. We used to get it at the Tuscarora Reservation when we lived out there, but that would have been going at least 20 miles out of our way this time. 

MONEY: Once again, 1200 miles round trip. Money was spent.

HOMESTEAD: We have pigs. Two of them. And not pot-bellieds. They are going to be full-fledged hogs. Yes, we are nuts.  

HERBAL STUDY: No studying this week.

HOMESCHOOL: We will resume our educational adventures on Monday. 

WEIGHT LOSS: I am up half a pound and I have my period. 259 pounds. Just call me tubby.

GOALS ACCOMPLISHED: I seem to be incapable of accomplishing goals I set for myself. Now that I am on this side of the abyss, maybe I can start getting things done.

NEW GOALS:  
Exercise
More sewing
Get my control journal on this laptop
(I’m keeping them the same. Again.)

HERBAL/ILLNESS STUDY OF THE WEEK: Diabetes. I want to study diabetes and see what herbs (besides fenugreek) help with maintaining a healthy glucose level.
(I’m keeping this the same. Again.)  

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Never say never

We had said we would never get a pig again.  

Well, we didn't.  We got two.  And, they are not pot-bellied.  They are full-on hog piglets and are three or four months old.  Two males.  Both castrated.  And, no tusk buds.  They should be ready come fall.

Back story.  The people we got them from were going to be homesteading much like we are, but the person they were buying the house from went into foreclosure without saying a word to them.  They are moving to an apartment while they regroup and apparently some apartment complexes have an issue with allowing farm animals living there.

The good news is they were raising the piglets for food and even named them Bacon and Pork Chop.  Translation:  No having to break the news about what the animals will be used for around here.

When we do bring the pigs in, we will put aside some meat for her.

In other news, the reading of the will was today.  There is very good news.  No estate, no probate.  That means all the medical bills that will be coming in (and some that has) we don't have to worry about.  The only bill that we have to pay is the funeral home.  While much of that has been pre-paid, there is still about $1300 that is still owed.  (This is not including the stunt that the cemetery in New York is trying to pull.)  

As for the rest of the will, the lawyer had said there really isn't anything worth fighting over and anything that was in the will is obsolete now.  It was never update so it had stuff in it that was no longer relevant.  Translation:  She had nothing financially speaking.  But that is not surprising.  Her prescriptions each month were well over $800.

What she did leave behind:  Grown children who will miss her, grandchildren who hardly got to know her, and memories that she has passed down in letters and recordings.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Our Trip

“Live” Blogging

We picked up the flower arrangements we forgot earlier and saw Charlie and Bethany eating pizza and watching a movie. That means everything is normal over at SIL’s house.

We topped off the tank before hitting the highway. While George was filling up, I called D to check of Hannah. Poor thing was traumatized. She screamed for me when we put her in D’s can earlier. (She was woken up during the transfer and never wakes up well without me.) She cried all the way to Wal-mart and then fell asleep all the way to Hymera. She was woken up to get in the house and cried again for a bit. She eventually calmed down and just looked around.

D kept asking her if she had to potty and she kept saying “No.” I forgot to tell her that “No” means “Yes” and “Uh-uh” means ‘No.” So, while D kept asking and Hannah kept saying no, she pooped all up her back and down her legs. Poor thing got all upset over being changed and cleaned up, but was fine once she was cleaned up.

THEN, being calm and happy again, one of the girls closed her fingers in a door. As a result, she (understandably) starts crying again.

She has had a very rough few hours so far. I also know that is this was going on at SIL, she would be very stressed and very frazzled. Thankfully, D can handle all the drama that Hannah throws at her. D also said that next time, we should bring all three because her girls don’t get the whole “parallel play” and are getting frustrated that Hannah is not playing WITH them and is instead playing ALONG SIDE them.  

I was told that she did eat quite a bit at dinner. More than the other girls. After the poop that was described to me, I am not surprised. She probably hit an eject button in anticipation of dinner.


It is 8:00pm and we are pulling out of Cloverdale with a full belly and smelling of smoke. The truckstop, while having good food does not have a separate section for non-smoking customers. Oh, well.  

As a tourist attraction, we did see a Lot Lizard getting very comfortable and using modern technology to negotiate prices. She takes the trucker’s phone, texts the prices in, and then the trucker deletes it. No trace of where it came from or sent to because there was no sending or receiving. It’s good to see the oldest profession able to keep up with the times.  

My lungs still hurt from being in the restaurant. I am thankful the children were not with us. I am going to be feeling the smoke for a while. With the way the children have been, they probably would have been very sick. The Libertarian part of me says “Their business, their choice.” The part of me that is suffering the effects of just having been in there and having children who have been sick recently cheers for anti-smoking in public places laws. There is always the choice of “I choose not to frequent your establishment because of the smoke” but if you don’t know the establishment or the area and there isn’t a whole lot around, what then?

I will mull this over while I cough up the smoke I was forced by circumstance to breathe in.



It’s going on 9:00 here and we will be switching out soon.
Observations concerning having a CB on hand while driving.
You hear about accidents ahead of time and can get around.
You hear about bears.
You hear about “ladies” selling “pillows” out of the back of her truck behind the Pilot station.



We crossed over into Ohio ae 9:50pm. The speed limit dropped to 65mph. We are maintaining the speed limit using cruise control. There are bears all over the place. They keep popping up every 15 to 20 miles. Sometimes two at a sitting. It is not surprising given the economy. Budget cuts and drop in property taxes (both in lack of property owners and in putting a cap on the property taxes (such as Indiana) has forced many services to take a financial hit. Not just the public library (local issue) but also in many other public service areas such as police and fire departments. Many places are trying to keep the revenue for their services and avoid personel cuts by increasing fines in speeding, issuing more tickets, and giving tickets that people would not get ticketed for in the past. (Littering and jay walking.) We are already wary enough since we are not carrying. (New York does not allow for peaceable travel.) So we are trying to keep a lower profile than usual. We don’t need to be hit with a ticket. (Easy ticket that won’t be argued? Hit an out of state driver/ They pay by mail or drive several hundred miles to argue a ticket that they may or may not get out of.)

The economy has interesting ways of manifesting itself. Our local library does not have late fees. The library (due to budget cuts because of a cap on property taxes) is having financial problems. Mention late fees and everyone is up in arms.  

So, people complain when they pay thousands of dollars in property taxes. That gets taken care of and the possibility of being forced to take financial responsibility for not turning something in by its due date and it is unjust and unfair.

If you don’t want to pay late fees, don’t return books late. But if you do and you have to pay late fees, look at it as helping out a local establishment that is designed to educate our children and provide FREE reading and research material for public use.

If you don’t want a speeding ticket (and I am the first to admit that I have a lead foot that I am working on taming) then don’t speed. If you get busted for speeding and the ticket is accurate (you were doing 58 in a 40 and the ticket says you were doing 58 in a 40) then own up and pay it. And think of it as putting money back into the community.

These are just my late night thoughts as I am going down the road.



It is 1:41am and we are still going down the road. I dozed for an hour or so and in my sleep listened to the CB quietly buzzing listening to the truckers talk about everything from the economy to Obama (so far all of them are anti-Obama) to calling out yardsticks and bears and accidents and 4-wheelers on the side.  

We are finally off of 71 and are now on 271. We’ll be on 90 in half an hour or so.

At this pace, we will definitely be at the burial early. It will give us time to nap f we need to. Although I did doze a bit, I have a hard time sleeping in a vehicle when it is moving. Yes, I have issues. I’m working on it.

I did just feel something I have not felt in a long time. I felt the atmospheric pressure change. It used to be I never noticed it unless we were in the mountains. But having been a flat-lander for so long now, I’m noticing it in the smaller hills of eastern Ohio. Interesting.

Well, I am going yo shut down now until we are recharged unless something interesting happens. I’m down to 30% on the battery so I am going to save it.



It is almost 4:00 and we are cruising Erie, PA looking for Lake Erie and the Indian Reservation so that we can get gas. This is one thing we miss about living in the Buffalo, NY area. Indian Reservations and cheap gas. We are following 20 around. It has been 10 years so we are kind of fuzzy about which exit we should have gotten off at. I got off when he told me, but it was too soon so he took over and I am pretty sure got off too soon again. We do know that 20 will take us to where we want to go.



It is now 9:30am and we’ve had breakfast, went to the grave site, saw it marked out to be dug, visited the different places we used to go and where George used to live or spend much of his time, and found a McDonald’s where I can post this. And apparently, McDonald’s here does not have free wifi. I have to provide a credit card to connect. That’s not happening. This can all be posted later. In the mean time, I am going to drink coffee and enjoy my sleep-deprived mental state.




It is now 2:00pm. MIL is buried next to her husband and even though everything concerning this had been pre-paid, we did not have paperwork with us stating this even though we were assured at the other end that there was nothing to worry about. We are going to be sent a bill for close to $100 since we had a burial service (what was paid for) instead of a mausoleum service. (What they are saying was paid for, but not what was wanted, implied, or had anyone in the family ever had. Her plot was paid for years ago to be next to her husband. Everything was paid for. Digging up the grave, putting her in, and filling it back in. All paid for. Until we see the paperwork at the other end, all we can do is speculate that because it was paid for years ago in full, they are trying to get the difference between that price and today’s price. Supposedly, this came up “over the week-end.” They could have called us over the week-end. They could have called us yesterday before we left. Instead, this comes up out of the blue today while we are sitting there. And we had been sitting there for quite a while before it was even mentioned. And it wasn’t even mentioned to us. It was mentioned to some other employee with us sitting there to over hear. I wonder what would have happened had we not been there to witness as we vowed we would.

Anyway, after the burial, we gave our numbers and other contact information to the two other couples that showed. We chatted for a few minutes. We’ll see if they stay in contact.

After we left, we went to lunch to a place called Nestor’s where I had Texas Red Hots and George had Slovakia. While eating, a friend’s husband called to let me know about a thyroid surgery. She is groggy, but she came through it ok. I’ll be calling tomorrow to check on her. And that brings us up to date.




It is 6:30pm and we’re entering Wayne County, Ohio. The truckers are being weird. Normal weird, but weird. One guy is trying to sell flashlights (without innuendo amazingly enough) and another is just droning on about who knows what. At least I haven’t heard from any Lot Lizards yet. Although, it is still early.  

We’ve been talking about when to visit Buffalo again with the children and both of us got the feeling that today was as much of a good-bye to Buffalo as much as it was a good-bye to his mother.




We got home around 1:30am. We hit rain the last few hours. It was bad with the high winds and the rain coming down so hard it was difficult to see.

I am thankful that we were able to go and thankful that we made it back safely.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Happy Trails To Us

Well, we leave for Buffalo tonight and I am a bit nervous. The children have been so sick lately that I do not like leaving them. I know they will be in good hands and I trust the people they will be with so that is not an issue. It’s Mommy Guilt™.  

We got the oil changed and picked up some cold medicine. We also picked up some tights and underwear. We even went to the Evil Empire to do this. I have their clothes, toothbrushes, medicine, and underwear packed. I’m going to pack an overnight bag for us even though we are not planning on staying anywhere.  

The children have been talking about death and trying to understand what happens. Bethany said that “Grandmom is not with God.” It was kind of spooky. She said it with quite a bit of certainty.  

I got a very sweet card from the Homeschool group signed by quite a few people. I was very pleased and very flattered.

We are going to make a concerted effort to visit people, call people, and let people know how we feel and how much we care. No one is guaranteed tomorrow. I’m not going to let things slip away.  

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Funeral #2

Yesterday was my pastor's funeral. To say it was a full house is an understatement. I pretty much fell apart.

I fell apart during church service today as well.

I have made a vow. I am not going to take for granted that someone will be there tomorrow or next week. I am going to make a point to let everyone I know how I feel about them and how much they mean to me.

Tomorrow, we leave for Buffalo to witness my MIL's burial and to honor the vow that we made making sure she is laid to rest next to her husband. Children are going to be with sitters. Critters are all taken care of. We should be all set.

Hopefully, I can get a cord for my laptop so I can keep up to date. Maybe even do "live blogging." Or maybe not. 1200 miles round trip could get kind of boring after a while. "Yep. Saw another minivan drive by."

Anyway, I am going to tuck a little girl in and put fresh water out for the animals.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Funeral

My MIL's funeral was today. We said our final good-byes to her. I read what I wrote (and posted here) when the time came. Everyone got a good laugh out of the whole "tissue in the mouth" bit.

A lot of people showed up. People I never expected. Not that I'm complaining. I am actually very warmly and pleasantly surprised. I almost lost it a couple of time, But I did manage to hold it together. I don't know what that says about me since I did lose it in Kroger yesterday.

Tomorrow is another funeral. We will have Charlie with us for this one. He is old enough and it is not late in the evening like tonight's was.

In other news, the power supply for my laptop broke. The little part that goes into the computer snapped. I've been nursing it along, but it finally stopped working. So, we are going to look for a new one eventually. Meanwhile, I am back on the old desktop computer.

I would like to take a moment to say thank you to K and H for watching my three munchkins for me tonight and taking both girls tomorrow. Thank you so very much.

Friday Update

There is a part of me that just wants to put “Don’t know, don’t care” in each category. But, in the need for normalcy and trying to keep doing the things that I care about, I need to do this.

ELECTRICITY: I have no idea what happened. I have not been paying attention. We have not done anything conservatively speaking with regard to electrical usage. Yet, it has gone down. Not that I am complaining. But it is strange. I canned three times this week. We’ve even turned the heat up to 70 a few times. I don’t know. I can’t explain it. Anyway, here are the readings:
Meter reading: 67052
Usage: 1089kwh
Percentage: 516%

IDC: I canned butter and “Beans and Greens” this week.  

GARBAGE: I have no idea. We have a couple of bags that need to go into town. They’ve been hanging out for a few weeks.

GASOLINE: For the van: 5.6 gallons. $10.00

MONEY:  
Big Lots: $50. This is cereal, crackers, and junk food. George said he is never sending me to the store again when I am grieving.  
Kroger: $8. Flowers for the funerals.
Pizza: $25. Dinner at my SIL’s.

HOMESTEAD: No eggs yet. No kids yet. Everyone is still alive and healthy. Checking on them constantly and caring for them is helping to keep me grounded.  

HERBAL STUDY: No studying this week.

HOMESCHOOL: Nothing formal this week. Just reading and explaining about death.  
Hannah and Bethany talked about Grandmom.  
H: “Where’s Grandmom?”
B: “Grandmom is dead.”
H: “Oh.”
H: “Why did she die?” (I think she meant how.)
B: “Well, she died ….”
I jumped in at that point and explained that Grandmom was old and she was tired so her body stopped working, but Grandmom’s spirit is still alive and we can talk about her and think about her anytime. 

WEIGHT LOSS: Absolutely no idea. I have not been near any scales and I have been fluctuating between not eating and eating junk.

GOALS ACCOMPLISHED: Does not going completely and totally insane count? I did get some more of my control journal on my laptop. So that is good.

NEW GOALS:  
Exercise
More sewing
Get my control journal on this laptop
(I’m keeping them the same. Again.)

HERBAL/ILLNESS STUDY OF THE WEEK: Diabetes. I want to study diabetes and see what herbs (besides fenugreek) help with maintaining a healthy glucose level.
(I’m keeping this the same. Again.)  

Thursday, February 5, 2009

About my MIL

Thoughts for/of MIL

It is no secret that my MIL and I didn’t always see eye-to-eye. She had a deep resentment for me that she made very little attempt to hide. When I came along, I upset the apple cart so to speak. I took her baby.

As I look at my children, I can understand that feeling. There will never be anyone good enough for them. Or if there is, they will have to work very hard to prove it.

While my MIL and I didn’t always get along, my love for her never faltered. Did I always agree with her on things? No. But that does not change the fact that in trying to show her that I am worthy of her son’s love and of her respect, she made me be a better person. Having to prove myself to her, I had to prove myself to myself.

These last couple of years as she had more and more things taken from her, she held onto her stubbornness. She demanded that we see her not as a weak and withering old woman, but as someone with spunk. Someone to be reckoned with. It didn’t matter if it was over her walker or if it was walking down the block. She was going to do these things, but on her terms.

As I fed her, washed her mouth, propped her up, and tried to keep her comfortable, she still refused to be pushed. Things still had to be on her terms. If she didn’t want to eat, she would clamp her mouth shut or shove a tissue in her mouth. If she didn’t want her mouth cleaned, she would make it difficult at best.

I don’t know when she realized she was nearing the end, but she made sure that I knew how she really felt about me. Two weeks ago, she looked at me and said “Keep doing God’s work.” Last Sunday (the last time I saw her alive) she looked at me as I walked out of the room and mouthed “I love you.”

I love you, too, Mom. And serving God is my priority in this life.

Experiment

I’ve done an experiment. Well, technically two, but they were done at the same time and they fit in the same category.  

I used half-gallon sized canning jars for the first time for actual canning. (Up until now, they have been used for things like pretzels, granola, and other dry goods storage.) I was very apprehensive because putting them in the canner; they came up to the top. I worried that the water would not go over the top and it did, but it over-flowed when I put the lid on. Gritting my teeth and holding my breath, I mopped up the water around the stove top and continued.

The other experiment was that I often will fill quart jars with water to can so we can have drinkable water in an emergency. This time around, I filled a regular quart jar, but I also filled an old spaghetti jar. (I would NOT recommend this for food.)

I figured even if it didn’t work, the water could still be used for flushing a toilet or dumped on plants or something.

So, did it work?

In a word, yes. The two half-gallon jars are sitting on the table in front of me waiting for a wipe down to get the powder residue off from the water. (Yes, we have a water filter. No, we don’t have a water softener. I don’t want one. And yes, I know about the vinegar to prevent the powder, but I am out.) They have sealed nicely. The water has sealed nicely.

If they all are still sealed next week, I will call this a success.

Hannah spiked a fever last night. She went from fine to 102.8. I called the doctor’s office and still have not heard back. I’m trying to remember that it is not even 1:30 yet even though it feels like 4:30. (This is what happens when you are up most of the night.)

She did not want to eat breakfast and she just wants to be held. She is perking up a little bit. She’ll get down and play for 10 minutes at a time then she is ready to be held again.

I’m tired.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

A little better I think

I think my brain is functioning a bit better today. I am pleasantly surprised at the amount of love and support we have received especially over the internet.

Wyatt Earp posted an entry on his blog expressing his concern over me and I found another site that I had never heard of which linked to my blog sharing concern and asking for prayers for me. Plus, the message boards and e-mails that had expressed thoughts, prayers and concerns…. It has been overwhelming and much appreciated. It has let me know just how truly blessed I am.

While I would never wish this past month on anyone, it is good to know that there are people who, even if they don’t know you in real life, know you well enough over the internet to show how much they care.  

MIL’s funeral is Friday and our pastor’s funeral is Saturday. MIL’s burial is on Tuesday. We will be driving there, witnessing the burial, and then driving back. It is 600 miles one way. My SIL will take Charlie and Bethany. Hannah will be with a friend of mine. Animals will be taken care of.  

K brought over some home-canned jars of chili for us for lunch. I’m eating some left-overs of it right now. It is good. A bit bland for my taste, so I added a bit of chili powder, but still very good. Perfect for George. I made a stockpot of “Beans and Greens” (my concoction from last week) with a few variations. No carrots, onion, or garlic. Mainly because I was out of carrots and was too lazy for the others. (That and I didn’t feel like crying again.) While still very good (Hannah had two bowls) Charlie didn’t eat any and Bethany didn’t have much. They really don’t feel good. Charlie has actually been asking to lie down.

Anyway, I have seven quarts of Beans and Greens going in the canner with two half-gallon jars that will go in tomorrow.

I’m trying to keep things as mundane and boring as possible because I don’t think I can handle anything else. I’ve pretty much shut off that part of my brain. I know that come time for the funerals, that part of my brain is going to be dragged out kicking and screaming and forced into the light making me deal. Knowing I will have people around me who are feeling the same kinds of feelings I am will help, though. It helps knowing I will not be alone. And that I am not alone now.

People keep asking me how George is doing. I think he is about the same as me. Just trying to function and keep things under control. I think he will let the hardest of the emotions out when we go to the burial site.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I'm done with 2009

I am ready for 2010.

In the past three (maybe four?) weeks:


My hot water tank caught fire.
My MIL had a stroke. (Same night.)
Found out MIL had liver cancer.
Bethany and Hannah had pneumonia. (Hannah having fever induced hallucinations and nightmares.)
MIL was transferred to a nursing home.
MIL strokes again.
MIL has aspiration pneumonia.
MIL is on IV only. NPO orders.
MIL dies. (Yesterday afternoon.)
My pastor dies last night. (Got a phone call very early this morning.)
Take Charlie and Bethany to their appointment that they missed yesterday.
Charlie has Whooping Cough.


2009 can go bye-bye for all I care.


Charlie asked me this morning (about an hour after the phone call. I had no sleep last night.) He asked if we can go visit Grandmom when she is done being dead.


I talked with him about this and then talked with all the children about Reverend a couple of hours later.


Tonight when Charlie was saying his prayers, he decided to bring things to a Higher Authority. God answers prayers and provides miracles. He asked God to please make Grandmom alive again.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Finally peaceful

I was helping a friend of mine move today and the plan was to take the children to the doctor then go back to continue helping her.  I got a phone call as I was putting the children in the truck.  It was the nursing home.

"Your SIL wants you here."

"Well, my children have a doctor's appointment so I will be there after."

Once I finish putting the children in the truck and I am going down the road it occurred to me. If SIL wanted me at the nursing home, she would call me herself.  I call the nursing home back and ask outright if I need to cancel the children's appointments.  The nurse said "It will be for the best."

I hang up with her and here I am driving down the street crying trying to talk to the receptionist to get the appointments cancelled.  Thankfully, our doctor is the same as MIL's doctor.

I'm racing to the nursing home only to find out I'm too late.  She passed.  It was what we prayed for.  A peaceful passing.  We didn't get to bring her home like we wanted and bring hospice in, but she was not alone.  My SIL was with her.  Her heart rate went up, she gasped for a few breaths, looked at her daughter (SIL), sighed, and that was it.  She was gone.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Crash, Bang, Thump, Squeal

Yup.  It is bedtime on the homestead and the children are quietly, meekly turning in for the night.

Ok, it's bedtime and the children are in their pajamas and running around getting into everything upstairs.  The occasional yell up the stairs "I SAID GOOD NIGHT NOW GO TO SLEEP" earns us a 15 second reprieve.  Then, it starts again.

Tonight's dinner was yuck and bland.  White spaghetti with Ragu sauce.  Yuck.  I could taste the artificialness of the sauce.  I am turning into a food snob.  I can not wait until the white spaghetti is finally gone.  That was a very bad food choice that I made several months back.  I would like to start making my own pasta and I know it's not hard, but I just need to find the time.

I need to find the OB gloves and once the children are asleep, get Flora up on the stand and do an internal.  I know the kid(s) are ok because I've seen the movement in her belly.  It could very well be that since she is a first timer, she is just holding on longer.  Granted, I am not one to do a lot of interventions.  (I don't even like doing interventions in my own birth which is one of many reasons why I prefer homebirths.)  I do very little intervention  with the goats.  (I stand back and try to keep the other goats from walking on a laboring goat or pull a kid out of a deep puddle of amniotic fluid.)  But this is driving me nuts.  I need to do a full exam again and possibly even an internal to see if I can feel the cervix.  Yes, I am going to try to do a cervical exam of a goat.

What has become of my life?  LOL